Adult Decisions

Well, friends. It's been a rough month.

We moved into this house (Nov 2011) and my husband lost his job. The Lord provided me with NUMEROUS jobs with me NEVER having to look for them. It was so great and He provided and took care of us.

Within the last 2 months or so, I have lost EVERY job.... except 1! That's right... yesterday, I lost another job. This whole time, I have asked God, "What are you trying to teach me from this?" With this newest lost job though, we can no longer pay the bills. So, my question turned to, "Lord, what are we supposed to do? What am I not seeing?"

The answer, so unbelievably obvious, yet something I so desperately did NOT want to see, is that we are no longer supposed to be here. Not in this house. If you cannot pay the bills (and you rent), I think it's a pretty  clear sign that, hey! This is not going to work out. We need to find somewhere else to live.

Yes, we have family that is/was more than happy to financially help us out. But that would be just WRONG! I've been looking and looking and spreading my name like crazy for a new job, and nothing. Who knows how long our family would be contributing a whole whole lot. Yes, Brent is done with school. But he has not taken his national registry tests yet. After that, he will have to apply, be interviewed, be hired, and then start when they are needing people. He could get hired at the end of Sept and not be working until the beginning of the year. Just too many unknowns with the one KNOWN (We can't pay our bills) weighing us down.

Long story short, this morning, the idea was presented to us to move to Cartersville and buy Pappy's old house. The payments would be ridiculously low. Neither one of us wanted to do that. However, the more Brent thought about it, the more sense it made. I came home from errands, we discussed it some more, I cried a whole lot, and he went outside to think. During that time alone, I argued with God, crying, screaming, and begging Him for a sign, any sign but moving to Cartersville. It was then that He revealed to me how selfish I was being. I want to stay for my family, friends, and church. But, I truly believe the Lord gives and takes away. He does both to help us be where He wants us to be. I truly feel like He has taken it all away from me to help me be willing to move where He wants me and really, to not give me much of a choice. I don't understand it. I don't want to move. But, I can see how much better this will be for us.

When Brent came in, I told him I wasn't happy about it, but he was the head of this house. If he had prayed about it and felt true peace about this decision, then I am game and I trust that peace will come with time. He's not going without me and I'm not going with my heels dragging and a bitter attitude. He said, "Ok then. We are going."

He has already called the landlord, she is being understanding and she has someone lined up to rent it. It's a God-thing really.

I have the chickens and goat on Craig's. We told the kids. They don't fully get it. Dane did ask to keep his favorite chicken and we agreed to keep her and 2 others so she has friends.

Friends, I need your prayers. My family needs your prayers. Just because we feel like this is God's will does not mean challenges are not going to come with it or that it will be easy. It is going to be sooooooo hard to leave my home and my farm life. My family. My church. My friends. My neighbors. All of it. I'm sad. My heart hurts. I've cried and cried and cried. But, I know inside God's will, I will be happy and my family will be blessed. Outside of God's will, I will not be happy and my family will not be blessed. I am resting in Him. Looking for Him to comfort me and to continue to give me peace. I am also praying for peace for my family and my kids.

Our last day here will be Sept 30.