Getting over Hurt

We were supposed to visit a new church today, but Dane was really sick last night and then during the night, Webb ran a high fever. We all ended up sleeping in until 10:30am and we needed it! Thankfully, both boys seem to be over that today. I love the power of a fever. It fights off the nastiest things!

I was super sad to not get to visit church this morning though :-( I have looked forward to it alllllll week long. I had "Liked" this church's FB page awhile back (when I was researching church's in the area) and I stay up on everything.  Just from the FB page alone I can tell they are an awesome church. Today, I posted something on that page and the feedback I am getting is great. They are truly a church with a heart for people. They are reaching out to me and have not even met me! I got tears in my eyes just reading the love from strangers :-) God is so good.

I am on day 18 of my blog challenge. I am answering the question, "What is the most difficult thing you have ever had to forgive?"

I thought about his question all morning/afternoon. Two different times come to mind. One from this past year, and then one I am currently going through. The one I am going through right now is so very fresh on my mind/the hurt I feel is very fresh. Also, I am working through the forgiveness process  because every. single. day. I learn about an new lie. For that reason, that situation feels like it is the hardest thing I have had to go through. It is ongoing. It feels as though it will never end and yet, I know, with the Lord's help, I will get over this and I will even be able to forget all the horrible details one day, like I do with every other bad situation I face (remember my memory!). I know with time, this will only be a bump in the road. A learning experience. A difficult time I used to better myself and grow closer to the Lord.

I do not feel like my blog is the place to go into details on either situation I faced. They are both personal and private. The one I am currently going through could put a bad tastes in people's mouth for a certain place and even depending on who the person is, a bad taste in their mouth for Christians. Without going into detail, I will say lies are being spread about us and even being told to our faces. It is something that still shocks me and more than that, concerns me. I couldn't answer why it is happening if you asked unless it is to cover someone else's own butt and to make it look like the facts are lies. It is definitely super hard to go through. I have cried and cried about this and taken it to the alter daily, only to pick it up again. It seems like each new detail I hear, or lie that is told, I can't help but pick this burden back up instead of leaving it at the alter. It has eaten at me for about a month. I was even so sick, I thought I was pregnant. I know that vengeance is not mine. The Bible says vengeance is the Lord's and I don't need to worry about making someone pay for their wrongs. Of course, the human and flesh part of me wants to make sure someone does pay for their wrong, especially if they were wrong to ME. But that is so wrong and puts me at their level. I only answer for myself, for what I say, for what I do, for how I treat people, etc. I have been praying daily, sometimes hourly, that the Lord will help me to forgive these people who I don't feel like deserve my forgiveness and to move to. I am praying that the Lord will help me to continue to keep my clear and clean conscience and that the truth/S will eventually come out. I trust that they will. Until then, I have to remind myself about holding a grudge and not forgiving--- It is like drinking poison and wanting the other person to die from it. Not forgiving someone or holding a grudge only hurts me. It harms my walk with the Lord and keeps me from growing. I am working on forgiveness. I am working on forgetting. I am working on being Christ-like and forgiving the unforgivable.  I am also remembering the wisdom of my dad as I told him with tears in my eyes Friday, "Dad! My reputation is important to me. I work hard to have a good name and a good reputation." He said, "Abby, you need to remember what is important. Reputation is what people think of you. Character is what God KNOWS of you. Be more concerned with your character. Act in a way so that if people hear bad things about you, they don't believe it. God knows the truth. God will deal with them."

Thanks, Dad.  

So, along with your prayers for Dane, could you also pray that I will leave this issue at the alter and in the hands of God. Only He can work this situation out for good, only He can deal with the people involved, and only He can bring the truth out. Pray that I can forgive those who have done me and my family wrong and pray that I can move on and not let this consume me. 
  

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for