Good Evening!
It feels so nice to be sitting at my computer desk and on MY computer. We have lived in the house for about a month now (I think. I seriously have no idea when we moved in!) and internet JUST started working tonight. URG. It has been a constant battle with AT&T. Hopefully, from this point forward, we will have no complaints!
My boys are tucked into bed and sleeping. I am LOVING this new schedule I have them on. I officially have them on a wonderful schedule!!!!!! I start the dinner thing around 4pm, prepping it, getting dishes ready, table cleared off, kitchen ready for the cooking, etc. and dinner is generally served between 5:00-5:30pm. After dinner, we clean up and the boy take their own plates to the garbage can, dump their food and put their plates and silverware in the dishwasher. Then, I scoot them out of the kitchen while I finish cleaning up/packing Brent his lunchbox if he is home and getting ready to leave. We start bath rituals around 6:15-6:20pm. Once out of the shower, we get ready for bed and read some of a chapter book. We actually just finished Little House in the Big Woods tonight and Dane is itching to get Farmer Boy-- the next book in the series.
The book took us a few months to finish and it is amazing at the transformation during that time of Dane and Webb's listening skills. When we started it, I just knew I was ready to get them to sit still and listen, without tons of pictures, and for them to make pictures in their minds. Dane COULD NOT handle that (or Webb, but I never expected that). He jumped and horsed around while I read out loud to myself. I stuck with it telling myself this was the best way for him to adapt and it really was. Before long, he was so interested in Pa and when he would hunt again and how he hunted, what he hunted, etc. The sisters and when they would go to town. How Ma would get water and how did she ever get her cow? He would sit with a distant look in his eyes and question everything. I tried to be patient between mere words as I answered a million questions (that I DID NOT know the answers to) because I realized I had accomplished what I set out to do!
After book, it is generally 7:00pm-7:15pm. Sometimes, they grab a quick snack (almonds, pecans, pretzels in mustard, banana, apple, etc) and then we brush teeth and hit the sack. We are generally in the bed by 7:30pm. Although Webb never lasts all night, I start him off in bed with Dane. I nurse him until he falls asleep and Dane is generally always asleep by then, If he is not, I lay there until he is asleep. For the most part, they are both sleeping by 8pm.
Our schedules were so out of whack when we moved in and I was literally adjusting to being a single mom. I went from a husband who was unemployed and for the most part, home more often than not, to a husband who is gone 2-4 days straight. I will not act like I handled it well. I did not. I was a crying mess-- emotional, angry, lonely, sad... and the worst thing was, I took it out on my husband and kids. Every time Brent got called in or text to say he wouldn't be coming home, I would burst into tears. I think the worst thing was, it was hard on the kids too. We all missed Daddy. They were extra fussy and here I was, playing single momma and trying to get the house in order and everything perfect for Christmas.I was so stressed!!! During all of this, the kids went to bed late, got up early or late, I never knew and I NEVER had peace and quiet or time to myself. I knew something had to give in order for me to make it. That is when I got on a strict schedule. I really and truly knew Brent was doing what he felt was best and he was providing for his family-- something he really struggled with during unemployment. He was busting his butt to provide for us and here I was putting him through a guilt trip for it and taking everything out on the kids. I had a melt down with Brent and was sobbing when I told him I sucked at being a wife and mom and maybe I wasn't cut out for this single momma stuff. He was patient and kind and told me I didn't suck and it would just take time.He told me to start praying for a full-time position so we could see him more. On any given week, Brent will work 100+ hours. The week of Christmas, he worked 144 hours. If he was full time, he would work 24 on, 48 off. It would be a pay cut, but we would have daddy home and that is most important. When he originally got hired, he was told it would/could take up to a year to get full-time. Things have happened though and there is a full time position open in January.He is obviously low man on the totem pole with others who are part-time and been there longer who want it. We are praying he might get that position though and trusting that if it is God's plan, he'll be starting full time in a few days. On top of all of that, he starts back to school in Jan for his paramedic. I am so proud of him. He never settles for anything but the best. As I started praying for a full time position for Brent, God put it on my heart to start praying about my attitude. I prayed and literally, in about 2 weeks time of us moving in/him working all these CRAZY amounts of hours, God has changed my heart. I really think we all had to adjust. Me, the boys, and even Brent. Now, I don't expect him home. It comes with the territory and he is doing what he has to. He has a better chance of getting a full time position if he never turns down a shift. He is working his tail off in hopes of getting full time much quicker than expected. I have completely adjusted to being mommy and daddy and although the days and nights are tough and I would love to have him here, it just makes when he is home that much sweeter.
Now we get up by 7am to get ready for the gym and we have a nice routine going on.
How was everyone's Christmas? Ours was PERFECT!!! The best yet. Brent only had Christmas Eve off and he came home that morning at 7am. Santa had to come a day early to accommodate, but it was awesome. The boys are both at such fun ages. They were so excited about all of their gifts. It was also awesome to celebrate Christmas with my brother and sister-in-law from Texas. I haven't celebrated with my brother in at least 10 years and never with my nieces and nephew. It was sooooooo great to be all together.
I must give a huge shout out to the grandparents this year! Last year, every single big gift that toys stores were selling, my children got. I mean, seriously. It was unbelievable. This year, they held back and got less toys and more clothes (Really, mommy gifts there) and it was so much less stressful. Too much stuff is just overwhelming. They are perfectly content with 3 or 4 toys each. We are blessed with family who loves us and spoils us though, so I hope this doesn't come across as a complaint. LOL.
We are anticipating 2013 with excitement. I am so happy and content with where God has led us. I NEVER dreamed we would end 2012 where we are when we started the year. God is faithful and His ways are not ours. I am so thankful for each thing that 2012 brought us--- the good, the bad, and the ugly. It was a year of trials, hurts, tests, amazement, scares, laughter, tears, heartbreaks, happiness, and JOY-- always JOY. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. I learned more than I ever thought possible for a years time. God chiseled at me and changed me. 2013--- I am ready to rock this and see what awaits us. I know it will all be good-- my life is in my Father's Hands!
Until next time...
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
I don't know about you guys, but I am super duper excited for Christmas this year. The boys are both at fun ages and they both have interests and things they want from Santa and believe with all their heart and soul he will bring (and he is!).
Christmas is a time to reflect on the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We make sure to center our celebrating around Him, His birth, and His presence in our life. If you ask the boys why we celebrate Christmas, they both say, "IT'S BECAUSE OF JESUS!!!" I love that. I realize as a mom how important it is for me to keep my boys focused on Christ. I can't get so consumed in the hussle and bussle, gifts, and running to and fro that I forget to take the time to sit with my boys and talk about a nativity scene. Tell the Christmas story and get excited about what took place that night, letting the boys "fill in the blank" of the story as we go. Remind them (and me) of what this special and magical season is truly about.
My prayer is that in your home, you too understand and grasp the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus is the REASON for the season.
Don't get me wrong... we enjoy all the fun and magic of Christmas too. We will miss our Elf, Darla, when she is gone, we the Red-sing Rudolph Nosed Raindeer 874 times a day, and we discuss "Christmas magic" and how Santa goes all over in one night and can fly.
That is just a little on my mind tonight. I'll leave you with a guest blogger post. A friend of mine Danielle, from A Mom's Best Guess, is sharing her beautiful home birth story for all of you. Please take the time to read. It is an amazing story:
The choice to birth at home was decided upon through many prayers, research, and finding the perfect midwife. My mind was set while dating my husband and knowing that I wanted to have children with him. I approached him with the option to birth in our home to which he stated, “Isn’t that illegal?” I loaded him down with facts, videos, personal accounts, and scare tactics(!!!) against hospital birth, took a deep breath then told him to seek what God wanted for our family. Against my expectations, Chris desired birth to be as I had for our future children.
Fast forward to the weeks before our wedding, and you would hear me “joking” that I would become pregnant on our honeymoon. This did not happen, but I did get a visit from Aunt Flo that week! To me, this was good news; my body was preparing itself to conceive. A week later, I just knew I was pregnant. I am uncertain if it was more of a physical or emotional feeling, but I knew I was pregnant. I did not count down the days to when I could take an early pregnancy test. But one evening, after a date night, Chris brought it to my attention that we could take a test to know for sure! Two tests later, and he was convinced.
I quickly contacted the only person I knew that had a home birth, Abby. Her birth story of her second son in water at home gripped my heart and set the stage for the birth of our baby. I saw the midwife she used, and before the end of the meeting, Chris and I knew (with one look and a wink between us) that Carolyn would be an excellent completion to our dream birth.
The one-hour visits to Carolyn monthly then weekly completely fulfilled my questions and fears. She was a mentor, counselor, and guiding voice in these unchartered waters. Every visit, she would check my weight and say “That’s great!” blood pressure “Perfect!” More than once I would ask if that was too much weight or too high of a blood pressure; her answer reminded me that pregnancies do not fit into a box. So what if my fundal height was 2 cm more than the norm or I hadn’t gained but one pound or ten in a couple of weeks. Carolyn saw the big picture; she was concerned with my health as well as the baby’s, and I trusted her.
A few weeks before my 40 week due date, Braxton hicks contractions started. I was so excited to start feeling signs of approaching labor! I knew the baby could come the next day or two weeks later. I continued to see a chiropractor and attend yoga sessions. I did not have discomfort throughout the pregnancy even up to this point; I attribute this to consistent chiropractic care. Yoga during pregnancy was relaxing, an escape to feel my body and it’s changes.
The morning of August 9, 2012 I woke up at 5:45 sensing that something was about to take place. After sitting up in bed, I felt that I was sitting in a small puddle of wetness. (At this point, I began denying that I could be in labor). I went to the bathroom and saw blood tinged fluid. I was only a little excited, but still not ready to fall into labor patterns. My body and baby had other plans… A warm shower eased the contractions while I swayed to the rhythm of the rainfall outside. (I can’t help to mention that I love rainy days!) I was not ready to tell Chris that I was having “some” signs of labor. After an hour, through gritted teeth, I said I thought I maybe, might be in labor. Some coaxing from him allowed me to lye down to rest. After two seconds I jumped out of bed and said I could never be on my back again! Now, I could say that I was having contractions but not full-blown labor. Chris asked me to time them, but that took my focus off of working through to the other side of the peak. So, he sat and stared, reading my body language while his contraction app was handy to take the time. I ate a couple of eggs, folded a load of laundry, and got ready for my scheduled midwife appointment at 9:00 am. Chris was confused as to why I would not call my midwife to tell her I was in labor. What I was not communicating to him was that I still had to go to Target and hang pictures! I needed the “putsy-putsy” stage of labor to motivate me through those tasks. I was not in labor enough.
As I walked through the door of my midwife’s home, she could tell that I was in labor. I asked her to check me so I could see how much time I had before the baby would be here. We had already talked about having checks throughout labor, and she did not think that I needed to be, but would upon my request. I was 4 cm. Great! Now, I had plenty of time to go to Target and maybe lunch after. As soon as I did the q-tip swab to see if the fluid was amniotic fluid, I could be on my way to run errands. The test proved my water had broken… It is my belief that my brain miscommunicated with my body that my excitement was not to have the baby arrive in 30 minutes, but that I wanted to look at the clearance baby girl clothes for her arrival.
A 90 mph car ride home while I did not think that I could handle the being confined to one place was pretty intense. I believe I told Chris, “If you don’t start praying then my body is going to burst open.” At home, he started to prepare the birth bed until he was interrupted by my cry for “Help!” He joined my rhythm in the bathroom and held my body, silently whispering, “You’re really in labor and I believe transition.” My thoughts, “I guess that’s why I feel the need to push.” The midwife assistant arrived, confirmed me to be ready to push but please not until Carolyn came. I firmly positioned myself on all fours (the most natural feeling position) and buried my head in the white sheets, pretending that they were part of the storm clouds outside. I didn’t know how to push, I couldn’t do this, what was I thinking… “God, please guide my thoughts to seeing the face of Lillie-Mae.” Carolyn was now saying, “Danielle I need you to take a deep breath and push.” What relief! I could do this; I could push a baby out, without medication, and now without doubts. I could not wait for her to come! I gave it everything I had. No one told me when to push- I went with my instincts. After fifteen minutes, my instincts told me that I could not do what was needed for Lillie Mae to arrive. Later, I would hear that Carolyn had to pull Lillie Mae out from her head down to her hips. In a sense, she was “stuck”; my feeling was correct. Once I lied down and saw her sweet face, and she began nursing I felt complete peace.
The peace of having a healthy baby that was outside of me, ready to thrive in a new world, was unfortunately lacking harmony. I had many family members around, a supporting husband, and wise care providers ready to ease my transition into raising this baby girl. However, I was consumed with fear; what if my four year old son was neglected, why was she not latching, would my husband love her more than me, did she love me, what kind of world did I bring her into? “God, please take this because the fear is consuming me.” Breastfeeding as nothing like what I expected. I was constantly engorged, Lillie-Mae would not latch, she was hungry, lethargic, and losing weight. Wasn’t it my responsibility to make her a successful nursing baby? Carolyn and Rachel were a wealth of information and “tricks” to have Lillie-Mae latch. A break was needed in “teaching” her what should be natural to allow her to partake of the “liquid-gold” that would build her immune system. Spoon-feeding was introduced to her- what a relief to see that she was swallowing what she needed to. Once she started gaining weight from that method, we practiced latching. I just could not force my baby’s head to my breast while she was screaming out of frustration. We had both hit a wall. Chris and I prayed while Lillie-Mae laid in my lap, exhausted from a Mommy that was failing to provide what she needed. We asked God to give us hope, a sign that she could do this. A lack-luster “Amen,” and we tried again. She latched! Chris and I cried tears of joy. She could suck, swallow, and thrive! Research led me to a name for my “problem”: overactive letdown. I chose to introduce a nipple shield to Lillie-Mae. This slowed down my flow and gave her something to suck on without having to do much work on her part. I never thought that we would be without this artificial supplement. Five weeks later, while on a trip with another nursing mother, I had the inspiration to let Lillie-Mae try to latch again. She did it! Yet, it hurt and did not persuade me to let her latch without a shield ever again. But wait, where were my positive thoughts? Baby girl has been in this world for 5 short weeks; she needed her Momma to help her. Next feeding, and I promised never to go back to the shield and to give her the natural comfort that she needed despite the pain and uncertainties of how much milk she was receiving.
Breastfeeding issues did not help with the fear of not providing Lillie-Mae with all she needed to thrive and grow. Thankfully, I had already made the decision to encapsulate my placenta. My main reason being that it would give me the nutrients that were removed after delivery and to ward against post-partum depression. My husband called the pills my “happy pills”. We could both tell that I was on edge and gloomy when I had not taken my daily dose. Yes, it is unfortunately strange to digest of your placenta in any way after birth, but it proved to be helpful to me.
Through it all, I can say that my homebirth was 100% fulfilling for Lillie-Mae and me. My expectations were thrown out the window, yet my research proved helpful on my journey. I could not have done it without support. Which leads me to advocate for this way to birth to all capable women. It takes strength, dedication, prayer, and God’s will to go against the grain. But what better outcome in the birth of your baby than knowing that you did what was best for you and your baby.
Christmas is a time to reflect on the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We make sure to center our celebrating around Him, His birth, and His presence in our life. If you ask the boys why we celebrate Christmas, they both say, "IT'S BECAUSE OF JESUS!!!" I love that. I realize as a mom how important it is for me to keep my boys focused on Christ. I can't get so consumed in the hussle and bussle, gifts, and running to and fro that I forget to take the time to sit with my boys and talk about a nativity scene. Tell the Christmas story and get excited about what took place that night, letting the boys "fill in the blank" of the story as we go. Remind them (and me) of what this special and magical season is truly about.
My prayer is that in your home, you too understand and grasp the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus is the REASON for the season.
Don't get me wrong... we enjoy all the fun and magic of Christmas too. We will miss our Elf, Darla, when she is gone, we the Red-sing Rudolph Nosed Raindeer 874 times a day, and we discuss "Christmas magic" and how Santa goes all over in one night and can fly.
That is just a little on my mind tonight. I'll leave you with a guest blogger post. A friend of mine Danielle, from A Mom's Best Guess, is sharing her beautiful home birth story for all of you. Please take the time to read. It is an amazing story:
The choice to birth at home was decided upon through many prayers, research, and finding the perfect midwife. My mind was set while dating my husband and knowing that I wanted to have children with him. I approached him with the option to birth in our home to which he stated, “Isn’t that illegal?” I loaded him down with facts, videos, personal accounts, and scare tactics(!!!) against hospital birth, took a deep breath then told him to seek what God wanted for our family. Against my expectations, Chris desired birth to be as I had for our future children.
Fast forward to the weeks before our wedding, and you would hear me “joking” that I would become pregnant on our honeymoon. This did not happen, but I did get a visit from Aunt Flo that week! To me, this was good news; my body was preparing itself to conceive. A week later, I just knew I was pregnant. I am uncertain if it was more of a physical or emotional feeling, but I knew I was pregnant. I did not count down the days to when I could take an early pregnancy test. But one evening, after a date night, Chris brought it to my attention that we could take a test to know for sure! Two tests later, and he was convinced.
I quickly contacted the only person I knew that had a home birth, Abby. Her birth story of her second son in water at home gripped my heart and set the stage for the birth of our baby. I saw the midwife she used, and before the end of the meeting, Chris and I knew (with one look and a wink between us) that Carolyn would be an excellent completion to our dream birth.
The one-hour visits to Carolyn monthly then weekly completely fulfilled my questions and fears. She was a mentor, counselor, and guiding voice in these unchartered waters. Every visit, she would check my weight and say “That’s great!” blood pressure “Perfect!” More than once I would ask if that was too much weight or too high of a blood pressure; her answer reminded me that pregnancies do not fit into a box. So what if my fundal height was 2 cm more than the norm or I hadn’t gained but one pound or ten in a couple of weeks. Carolyn saw the big picture; she was concerned with my health as well as the baby’s, and I trusted her.
A few weeks before my 40 week due date, Braxton hicks contractions started. I was so excited to start feeling signs of approaching labor! I knew the baby could come the next day or two weeks later. I continued to see a chiropractor and attend yoga sessions. I did not have discomfort throughout the pregnancy even up to this point; I attribute this to consistent chiropractic care. Yoga during pregnancy was relaxing, an escape to feel my body and it’s changes.
The morning of August 9, 2012 I woke up at 5:45 sensing that something was about to take place. After sitting up in bed, I felt that I was sitting in a small puddle of wetness. (At this point, I began denying that I could be in labor). I went to the bathroom and saw blood tinged fluid. I was only a little excited, but still not ready to fall into labor patterns. My body and baby had other plans… A warm shower eased the contractions while I swayed to the rhythm of the rainfall outside. (I can’t help to mention that I love rainy days!) I was not ready to tell Chris that I was having “some” signs of labor. After an hour, through gritted teeth, I said I thought I maybe, might be in labor. Some coaxing from him allowed me to lye down to rest. After two seconds I jumped out of bed and said I could never be on my back again! Now, I could say that I was having contractions but not full-blown labor. Chris asked me to time them, but that took my focus off of working through to the other side of the peak. So, he sat and stared, reading my body language while his contraction app was handy to take the time. I ate a couple of eggs, folded a load of laundry, and got ready for my scheduled midwife appointment at 9:00 am. Chris was confused as to why I would not call my midwife to tell her I was in labor. What I was not communicating to him was that I still had to go to Target and hang pictures! I needed the “putsy-putsy” stage of labor to motivate me through those tasks. I was not in labor enough.
As I walked through the door of my midwife’s home, she could tell that I was in labor. I asked her to check me so I could see how much time I had before the baby would be here. We had already talked about having checks throughout labor, and she did not think that I needed to be, but would upon my request. I was 4 cm. Great! Now, I had plenty of time to go to Target and maybe lunch after. As soon as I did the q-tip swab to see if the fluid was amniotic fluid, I could be on my way to run errands. The test proved my water had broken… It is my belief that my brain miscommunicated with my body that my excitement was not to have the baby arrive in 30 minutes, but that I wanted to look at the clearance baby girl clothes for her arrival.
A 90 mph car ride home while I did not think that I could handle the being confined to one place was pretty intense. I believe I told Chris, “If you don’t start praying then my body is going to burst open.” At home, he started to prepare the birth bed until he was interrupted by my cry for “Help!” He joined my rhythm in the bathroom and held my body, silently whispering, “You’re really in labor and I believe transition.” My thoughts, “I guess that’s why I feel the need to push.” The midwife assistant arrived, confirmed me to be ready to push but please not until Carolyn came. I firmly positioned myself on all fours (the most natural feeling position) and buried my head in the white sheets, pretending that they were part of the storm clouds outside. I didn’t know how to push, I couldn’t do this, what was I thinking… “God, please guide my thoughts to seeing the face of Lillie-Mae.” Carolyn was now saying, “Danielle I need you to take a deep breath and push.” What relief! I could do this; I could push a baby out, without medication, and now without doubts. I could not wait for her to come! I gave it everything I had. No one told me when to push- I went with my instincts. After fifteen minutes, my instincts told me that I could not do what was needed for Lillie Mae to arrive. Later, I would hear that Carolyn had to pull Lillie Mae out from her head down to her hips. In a sense, she was “stuck”; my feeling was correct. Once I lied down and saw her sweet face, and she began nursing I felt complete peace.
The peace of having a healthy baby that was outside of me, ready to thrive in a new world, was unfortunately lacking harmony. I had many family members around, a supporting husband, and wise care providers ready to ease my transition into raising this baby girl. However, I was consumed with fear; what if my four year old son was neglected, why was she not latching, would my husband love her more than me, did she love me, what kind of world did I bring her into? “God, please take this because the fear is consuming me.” Breastfeeding as nothing like what I expected. I was constantly engorged, Lillie-Mae would not latch, she was hungry, lethargic, and losing weight. Wasn’t it my responsibility to make her a successful nursing baby? Carolyn and Rachel were a wealth of information and “tricks” to have Lillie-Mae latch. A break was needed in “teaching” her what should be natural to allow her to partake of the “liquid-gold” that would build her immune system. Spoon-feeding was introduced to her- what a relief to see that she was swallowing what she needed to. Once she started gaining weight from that method, we practiced latching. I just could not force my baby’s head to my breast while she was screaming out of frustration. We had both hit a wall. Chris and I prayed while Lillie-Mae laid in my lap, exhausted from a Mommy that was failing to provide what she needed. We asked God to give us hope, a sign that she could do this. A lack-luster “Amen,” and we tried again. She latched! Chris and I cried tears of joy. She could suck, swallow, and thrive! Research led me to a name for my “problem”: overactive letdown. I chose to introduce a nipple shield to Lillie-Mae. This slowed down my flow and gave her something to suck on without having to do much work on her part. I never thought that we would be without this artificial supplement. Five weeks later, while on a trip with another nursing mother, I had the inspiration to let Lillie-Mae try to latch again. She did it! Yet, it hurt and did not persuade me to let her latch without a shield ever again. But wait, where were my positive thoughts? Baby girl has been in this world for 5 short weeks; she needed her Momma to help her. Next feeding, and I promised never to go back to the shield and to give her the natural comfort that she needed despite the pain and uncertainties of how much milk she was receiving.
Breastfeeding issues did not help with the fear of not providing Lillie-Mae with all she needed to thrive and grow. Thankfully, I had already made the decision to encapsulate my placenta. My main reason being that it would give me the nutrients that were removed after delivery and to ward against post-partum depression. My husband called the pills my “happy pills”. We could both tell that I was on edge and gloomy when I had not taken my daily dose. Yes, it is unfortunately strange to digest of your placenta in any way after birth, but it proved to be helpful to me.
Through it all, I can say that my homebirth was 100% fulfilling for Lillie-Mae and me. My expectations were thrown out the window, yet my research proved helpful on my journey. I could not have done it without support. Which leads me to advocate for this way to birth to all capable women. It takes strength, dedication, prayer, and God’s will to go against the grain. But what better outcome in the birth of your baby than knowing that you did what was best for you and your baby.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Home Sweet Home
Hiya, all!
It's been awhile since I have had a computer at my hands.
We officially moved last Thursday! Leading up to that day, I was too busy to sit down and blog. Now that we are in the house, I'm still busy, but more than that, I am internetless! We should have internet next week.
The house:
I am in LOVE with my house. Especially my kitchen!!!!!! It is my dream kitchen :-)
There are still many unfinished projects because we desperately wanted in for Christmas and opted to move in and finish while living there AND (main reason here) my husband has been working 70-100+ hour work weeks. Since we have moved home, I think he has slept there twice (I think) and been in the home when he wasn't sleeping, maybe 12 hours. I really don't know. That may be pushing it a bit. Maybe more like 6 hours. LOL. Seriously, after a year of unemployment we are in a big hole and desperately need out. That is why I don't mind him being gone SOOOO much. He is working his tail off to provide and get us in a better place financially. I am grateful he is willing to work so hard and tirelessly for us.
The biggest things that are work in progress that aggravate me the most--
*Not having a dryer. (A friend's husband offered to work on it, but we are gone out of town today and tomorrow) and then my FIL had a good idea for fixing it (under the house instead of attic) and Brent seems to think that will work. As long as he is home long enough, or home at all, to fix it, I may have one this weekend!
*My dining room light. Brent hasn't been able to get it wired correctly and it doesn't work. I LOVE light and I really can't stand not having a light over our table at night.
*My main doors not being installed. The ones we have a yucky and I am just ready for our new ones! PLUS-- I cannot finish the baseboards until they are installed and as soon as they are installed, I can start touching up paint. I'm going to wait until those or in or otherwise, I will be touching up paint twice.
*Our linen closet not being put together (the shelving). We have all the materials, I just need Brent to hang it all. Right now, I have bags of towels and linens (I want washed since they have been stored, but I'm waiting until I have a dryer) in the floor of the linen closet and I stack clean, folded towels and linens on top of that. It just goes against my organized ways ;-)
*My closet! It was hung up with all my clothes hung in ROYGBIV order (you know, color coordinated, like the rainbow!) and then on Tuesday night it collapsed!!! We had bought these big, sturdy U-HAUL boxes that have the metal racks in them for "closets" while we lived with my MIL. Thankfully, Brent said we would keep them since we spent quite a bit of $$ on them. So, they were outside in our building and I got those and put them in our office and that is officially my walk-in closet :-) It really isn't that big of a deal since I do have somewhere to put my clothes. I was just ready to organize the shelf in my closet, so that just postpones another project.
*Our bathroom door. It is still messed up even though Brent thought he was fixing it a few days ago. Now it won't shut completely. So, if Brent is home and sleeping or Webb is sleeping in my bed, at night when I'm in there drying my hair or whatnot, the light shines through to the bed and you can hear what's going on pretty good. Definitely something we can live with for awhile, I just felt bad one night when Brent was trying to sleep and I was in there late.
*I want my pictures hung. I am super OCD about crooked and strategically placed pictures, so I really want Brent there to help me. Plus, I have lots of things that need anchors and all. I want him there because he is just as OCD as I am (just not about what hangs! LOL. So, it can be a stressful environment when I'm like, "No... to the left.... No... go up... Now down just a hair. Wait... Maybe we should put this there instead of that." He is just ready to hang them anywhere and be donea! But, he will make sure it is done right). Tape measure, level, and anything else that might assist.
*The laundry room door not being up. Brent was waiting until we moved in b/c the appliances wouldn't fit through with the door up and we are going to be putting in an exterior door that leads to the backporch in a few months (that is why we didn't change the size, if and when the appliances need out, we will use the exterior door, not the interior door). That room is so disorganized (because the door is laying in there taking up a huge amount of space and I have this huge drying rack in there drying clothes. I also have the shop vac and the fans in boxes that need to be hung taking up space). In the back pantry is all the paint I am leaving inside until all the touch up paint is complete. But, once I am done with that project, I can use that back pantry for bulk things (Costco buys) instead of my floor space! So, this room is stressful to me!
*Fridge water hooked up. We drink ONLY water and a lot of it too. I hate tap water, so I am buying tons of gallons of water. I am ready to not have to do that.
Other than that, projects that still need to be completed that aren't driving me as crazy:
*The living room fan needs to be put in our room. The boys fan broke and needs to come down and be replaced and the correct living room fan needs to be hung.
* I want a new kitchen light :-/ We bought one, but I have decided I don't like it!
*The rest of the outlets need to be changed in the kitchen where the backsplash is from beige to white.
*The boys bath needs the hardware.
*The boys bathroom needs a mirror. I don't want a standard one. I will be buying one of Kirklands or someplace like that.
*All of my curtains hung up (living room and kitchen finished).
*The kitchen window trimmed.
*All the boxes that are empty and filled up my entire backporch that need to be broken down and hauled off!
*Fixing the mantle and hiding all our electronic cords.
*Cleaning off out our home gym space and organizing that so it can be utilized.
*Boys closet organized.
*Dishwasher hooked up.
*DUMPSTER REMOVED!!! Happening in 1 week and some days. Thank the LORD!
I think that about sums it up. I am sure I left out some projects.... but oh well :-)
In other news, my vans transmission is going out. I felt it the first time the day we were moving. Now, it does it everyday, multiple times. Yesterday, I pulled out of Bible Study onto a main road. I was pressing the gas and all the sudden, my car was only revving but not going accelerating. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw 2 cars flying up behind me. I let off the gas and pressed again which had been working when my van did that. This time, it didn't work. I kept trying and trying. My RPMs were soaring and my MPH were down to 20. Finally, I was able to get my car to go. I thought that my transmission was completely gone. We were headed to Costco. I called Brent and told him what had happened. He is at work and is trying to help me over the phone. He told me I needed to park it and not drive it until we had the money to fix it. He said to definitely not drive it to Costco because chances are we would have a tow bill on top of having to replace the transmission. Being vehicleless is not even a possibility. I have a mom due any day and this is my week to clean. Plus, I am a mom and have errands to run daily. Brent being gone so much means he is no help transportation wise and us sharing a vehicle isn't realistic. He leaves the house around 6:30am and leaves the station at the same time only to go to another station most days. That would just be too hard with the boys.
So, my van is parked at my in-laws, my husband is driving my FIL's truck (it has no backseat) and I am driving my husband's truck. Fun stuff. Hopefully we can just get the transmission rebuilt which means I would have my van back much sooner! Pray that we can and we can find someone affordable to fix it.
When all of this was happening yesterday, I felt discouraged and on the verge of tears. Then, I looked in my rearview mirror and saw my angels. They are so sweet, so innocent, such gifts. If they were all I had in the entire world, I would still have more good in my life than bad. It's Christmas time and everything in life seems to be going smooth and wonderful other than a few minor (in the big picture, they are minor) things. I know the devil is out to rob me of my joy and to try and create havoc in our life and more importantly to get my focus off my Lord and Savior JESUS during Christmas. I REFUSE to let that happen. We have been blessed and all of this did not take God by surprise. I could cry out, "WHY WHY WHY???" But the real question is, "Why not?" Bad things/unfortunate things happen everyday to people. I am not immune or exempt from them. So, why not me? Why not now? Thank the Lord my transmission waited to fail until Brent had a job. Otherwise, I seriously would be vehicleless for who knows how long. At least now, we are in the position to save and have this repaired. God is good and His timing is perfect. Yes, we would love for that money to go someplace else (debt, house projects, etc), but it is what it is. Getting upset about it and having a pity party will not change one single thing except my outlook and I want my outlook to be joyful and optimistic. It really is a choice. Sometimes, it is a choice that takes work and truly forcing myself to not go there, other times, it is a choice that comes easier.
Today, we are in Ringgold. I am a doula and I have a mom due any day. Last night, she had a false alarm (she is in Chattanooga). I am scheduled to clean in Ringgold tomorrow anyways, so I am just staying the night again. No big deal. I am actually enjoyed having nothing in the world to do. I slept late and I am still in my pajamas. Nothing is on the schedule today (except possibly a birth!) and it is relaxing and enjoyable.
I pray you all find peace and happiness today and time to relax! Pictures of the new house coming soon.
It's been awhile since I have had a computer at my hands.
We officially moved last Thursday! Leading up to that day, I was too busy to sit down and blog. Now that we are in the house, I'm still busy, but more than that, I am internetless! We should have internet next week.
The house:
I am in LOVE with my house. Especially my kitchen!!!!!! It is my dream kitchen :-)
There are still many unfinished projects because we desperately wanted in for Christmas and opted to move in and finish while living there AND (main reason here) my husband has been working 70-100+ hour work weeks. Since we have moved home, I think he has slept there twice (I think) and been in the home when he wasn't sleeping, maybe 12 hours. I really don't know. That may be pushing it a bit. Maybe more like 6 hours. LOL. Seriously, after a year of unemployment we are in a big hole and desperately need out. That is why I don't mind him being gone SOOOO much. He is working his tail off to provide and get us in a better place financially. I am grateful he is willing to work so hard and tirelessly for us.
The biggest things that are work in progress that aggravate me the most--
*Not having a dryer. (A friend's husband offered to work on it, but we are gone out of town today and tomorrow) and then my FIL had a good idea for fixing it (under the house instead of attic) and Brent seems to think that will work. As long as he is home long enough, or home at all, to fix it, I may have one this weekend!
*My dining room light. Brent hasn't been able to get it wired correctly and it doesn't work. I LOVE light and I really can't stand not having a light over our table at night.
*My main doors not being installed. The ones we have a yucky and I am just ready for our new ones! PLUS-- I cannot finish the baseboards until they are installed and as soon as they are installed, I can start touching up paint. I'm going to wait until those or in or otherwise, I will be touching up paint twice.
*Our linen closet not being put together (the shelving). We have all the materials, I just need Brent to hang it all. Right now, I have bags of towels and linens (I want washed since they have been stored, but I'm waiting until I have a dryer) in the floor of the linen closet and I stack clean, folded towels and linens on top of that. It just goes against my organized ways ;-)
*My closet! It was hung up with all my clothes hung in ROYGBIV order (you know, color coordinated, like the rainbow!) and then on Tuesday night it collapsed!!! We had bought these big, sturdy U-HAUL boxes that have the metal racks in them for "closets" while we lived with my MIL. Thankfully, Brent said we would keep them since we spent quite a bit of $$ on them. So, they were outside in our building and I got those and put them in our office and that is officially my walk-in closet :-) It really isn't that big of a deal since I do have somewhere to put my clothes. I was just ready to organize the shelf in my closet, so that just postpones another project.
*Our bathroom door. It is still messed up even though Brent thought he was fixing it a few days ago. Now it won't shut completely. So, if Brent is home and sleeping or Webb is sleeping in my bed, at night when I'm in there drying my hair or whatnot, the light shines through to the bed and you can hear what's going on pretty good. Definitely something we can live with for awhile, I just felt bad one night when Brent was trying to sleep and I was in there late.
*I want my pictures hung. I am super OCD about crooked and strategically placed pictures, so I really want Brent there to help me. Plus, I have lots of things that need anchors and all. I want him there because he is just as OCD as I am (just not about what hangs! LOL. So, it can be a stressful environment when I'm like, "No... to the left.... No... go up... Now down just a hair. Wait... Maybe we should put this there instead of that." He is just ready to hang them anywhere and be donea! But, he will make sure it is done right). Tape measure, level, and anything else that might assist.
*The laundry room door not being up. Brent was waiting until we moved in b/c the appliances wouldn't fit through with the door up and we are going to be putting in an exterior door that leads to the backporch in a few months (that is why we didn't change the size, if and when the appliances need out, we will use the exterior door, not the interior door). That room is so disorganized (because the door is laying in there taking up a huge amount of space and I have this huge drying rack in there drying clothes. I also have the shop vac and the fans in boxes that need to be hung taking up space). In the back pantry is all the paint I am leaving inside until all the touch up paint is complete. But, once I am done with that project, I can use that back pantry for bulk things (Costco buys) instead of my floor space! So, this room is stressful to me!
*Fridge water hooked up. We drink ONLY water and a lot of it too. I hate tap water, so I am buying tons of gallons of water. I am ready to not have to do that.
Other than that, projects that still need to be completed that aren't driving me as crazy:
*The living room fan needs to be put in our room. The boys fan broke and needs to come down and be replaced and the correct living room fan needs to be hung.
* I want a new kitchen light :-/ We bought one, but I have decided I don't like it!
*The rest of the outlets need to be changed in the kitchen where the backsplash is from beige to white.
*The boys bath needs the hardware.
*The boys bathroom needs a mirror. I don't want a standard one. I will be buying one of Kirklands or someplace like that.
*All of my curtains hung up (living room and kitchen finished).
*The kitchen window trimmed.
*All the boxes that are empty and filled up my entire backporch that need to be broken down and hauled off!
*Fixing the mantle and hiding all our electronic cords.
*Cleaning off out our home gym space and organizing that so it can be utilized.
*Boys closet organized.
*Dishwasher hooked up.
*DUMPSTER REMOVED!!! Happening in 1 week and some days. Thank the LORD!
I think that about sums it up. I am sure I left out some projects.... but oh well :-)
In other news, my vans transmission is going out. I felt it the first time the day we were moving. Now, it does it everyday, multiple times. Yesterday, I pulled out of Bible Study onto a main road. I was pressing the gas and all the sudden, my car was only revving but not going accelerating. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw 2 cars flying up behind me. I let off the gas and pressed again which had been working when my van did that. This time, it didn't work. I kept trying and trying. My RPMs were soaring and my MPH were down to 20. Finally, I was able to get my car to go. I thought that my transmission was completely gone. We were headed to Costco. I called Brent and told him what had happened. He is at work and is trying to help me over the phone. He told me I needed to park it and not drive it until we had the money to fix it. He said to definitely not drive it to Costco because chances are we would have a tow bill on top of having to replace the transmission. Being vehicleless is not even a possibility. I have a mom due any day and this is my week to clean. Plus, I am a mom and have errands to run daily. Brent being gone so much means he is no help transportation wise and us sharing a vehicle isn't realistic. He leaves the house around 6:30am and leaves the station at the same time only to go to another station most days. That would just be too hard with the boys.
So, my van is parked at my in-laws, my husband is driving my FIL's truck (it has no backseat) and I am driving my husband's truck. Fun stuff. Hopefully we can just get the transmission rebuilt which means I would have my van back much sooner! Pray that we can and we can find someone affordable to fix it.
When all of this was happening yesterday, I felt discouraged and on the verge of tears. Then, I looked in my rearview mirror and saw my angels. They are so sweet, so innocent, such gifts. If they were all I had in the entire world, I would still have more good in my life than bad. It's Christmas time and everything in life seems to be going smooth and wonderful other than a few minor (in the big picture, they are minor) things. I know the devil is out to rob me of my joy and to try and create havoc in our life and more importantly to get my focus off my Lord and Savior JESUS during Christmas. I REFUSE to let that happen. We have been blessed and all of this did not take God by surprise. I could cry out, "WHY WHY WHY???" But the real question is, "Why not?" Bad things/unfortunate things happen everyday to people. I am not immune or exempt from them. So, why not me? Why not now? Thank the Lord my transmission waited to fail until Brent had a job. Otherwise, I seriously would be vehicleless for who knows how long. At least now, we are in the position to save and have this repaired. God is good and His timing is perfect. Yes, we would love for that money to go someplace else (debt, house projects, etc), but it is what it is. Getting upset about it and having a pity party will not change one single thing except my outlook and I want my outlook to be joyful and optimistic. It really is a choice. Sometimes, it is a choice that takes work and truly forcing myself to not go there, other times, it is a choice that comes easier.
Today, we are in Ringgold. I am a doula and I have a mom due any day. Last night, she had a false alarm (she is in Chattanooga). I am scheduled to clean in Ringgold tomorrow anyways, so I am just staying the night again. No big deal. I am actually enjoyed having nothing in the world to do. I slept late and I am still in my pajamas. Nothing is on the schedule today (except possibly a birth!) and it is relaxing and enjoyable.
I pray you all find peace and happiness today and time to relax! Pictures of the new house coming soon.
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