I don't like to say over-protective because my thoughts are: protecting them is in my job title as a parent.
I feel like that is what I am supposed to do.
Protect them.
I am picky about songs my kids hear, shows they watch, and internet usage.
I stick to Christian music in my car. I don't necessarily think there is anything wrong with other stations, but for me, I want my boys flooded with truths from the Word of God constantly. I want a strong Foundation for them. I love the opportunities that gives us to talk about God. The questions that arise from what we listen to make me cry sometimes. For instance, we were listening to, "My God is a Mountain Mover" in the van the other day. Webb starts telling me how big and mighty God is and how he can move BIG mountains. Dane proceeds to tell me that God can do anything, except sin.
I want them only watching age appropriate shows. My motto is, "If Hollywood says it is for 13 and older, you can be SURE momma agrees." Let's face it, Hollywood has NO morals. I long to keep their innocence intact and what they view on TV is often what their mind feels is normal.
As for internet usage. I am NOT naive. I know how prevalent pornography is and how addictive it is. I have made it my mission to stay on top of this issue because I am raising boys. I follow blogs that candidly talk about this issue, because it is my JOB to protect my boys and their minds. I will not pretend it doesn't exist. I cannot expect them to figure it out on their own. For this reason, I was convicted to move our computer into the living room and make our office, a guest room. I want there to be no temptation. It is also for this reason my boys won't have smart phones until they NEED one. Once that time comes, I plan to institute a rule that the phones go in my room at bedtime. I don't want there to be temptation for game playing all night, phone chatting all night, pornography usage, or sexting. I want to make it difficult for them to sin in this area, not enable them.
Want a briefing on some of my research???
Whether a child becomes addicted to pornography or not, 100% of kids who view porn are negatively affected. Today's Internet pornography goes way beyond still, nude photos of men's magazines. It has metastasized into a hundred thousand variants of degrading violence, including rape, sex with children, group sex, and other horrors. Pornography is a sinister counterfeit-- it teaches kids that sex is a form of self-gratifying, and often violent, diversion instead of a way to build a loving and committed relationship with someone they trust. As a result, kids who consume porn are corrupted with unhealthy sexual attitudes and may find it difficult to develop, commit to, or even want long-term sexual relationship with a real person. Pornography rewires the brains of those who view it. It can quickly become a full blown addiction. Something they crave and turn to daily. It is like a high. A drug. They cannot wait until the minute they can turn to pornography on their computers or their phones. They become selfish and it is all about them and no longer about the couple. It takes a beautiful act that God created to bring husband and wife together and separates them. Sex is meant to make us Holy because it is God's will (in marriage), anytime we bring a 3rd person into it, it does the opposite (porn, affair, or multiple partners at once). It takes us further from Christ and further from our partner. I don't want that for my boys EVER, or for their wives.
All of my responsibility with the issue of pornography and protecting their minds, led me to research, which led me to this book:
I snagged this off Amazon and it arrived this week. I haven't read it all yet, but what I have read has me thanking God for leading me to this book.
I love the truths in here. It encourages open dialogue (something I LOVE) as we sit down and read it like a normal book. It prompts children to ask questions and even me to ask questions of my child.
At one part in the book I have to explain that there are good pictures, like you might find in a family photo album, and there are bad pictures. These pictures will have people with little or no clothes on and you might see bad pictures on TV, a phone, or a computer. I then told them that those pictures were called pornography. I asked my boys if they had ever seen that?
Dane shook his head "no" and then changed his expression as if he wasn't quite sure.
I felt my heart skip a beat and he said, "Well, on Wreck it Ralph, the mouse takes all this clothes off."
I had to keep myself from laughing and crying at the same time.
The fact that he is still innocent at 6-1/2 is HUGE.
Our pastor talks from the pulpit quite often about the statistic of porn and little boys. I can't remember the exact statistic, but I want to say it is like 50% or so of boys have their first viewing of porn by the age of 5. FIVE!!!!!
Whether by accident, a friend, an older sibling, the home computer history, etc.
FIVE years old.
Those babies are learning what they think is normal sex and it will be hard to erase those thoughts formed that early.
There is counseling sessions going on for 7 year olds right now that are full-blown porn addicts.
Does that break your heart? Oh, how it breaks mine.
My goal in life is to raise men that love, fear, and serve the Lord. Part of that, for me, means raising men that know how to filter, on their own, what is of the Lord and not. Fact is, I can control all of that right now. There will come a day though that they are on their own and faced with real temptations. I want to know I did everything in my power to train them on how to deal with that. I want them to understand the seriousness of porn (and other sin). I don't want my boys to think porn is what every man does or acceptable in any way. That is my job as their mommy.
What better time to start now? What better thing to do than tell them, "If you accidentally see it, it is ok. Just either turn it off or come get me. But always come and tell me. You will never be in trouble."
Yesterday, I found myself praising God that I was the one to teach my children about pornography. They learned about it from me and in a biblical way. They had never even heard the word and I have the opportunity to warn them about it instead of discovering a viewing and or addiction years from now.
I am praising God for that opportunity!!!
This is a resource I highly recommend to any and all parents out there, with boys or girls!
This is a very real epidemic in our world and it is time parents step up and start taking preventative steps.
