A Year's Perspective

As I was writing in my prayer journal this morning, it occurred to me that a year has passed since my life kinda went to the crapper.

It actually passed by 2 days ago and I didn't even realize it.

That, the fact that it passed by without my knowledge, is such a picture of God's goodness and faithfulness in my life.

For close to a year, my life was depressing, lonely, cold, disappointing, hard, cruel, and angry.

I don't have to tell you any of the details of what made it that way.

I'm sure most of you guys have experienced a time and trials that left you feeling the same way.

My situation may have different or similar to yours, who knows. Not you or me.

One thing I know, the same God was with us. You and me.

For months and months I knew I was to count it all joy when I was faced with hardships.

James 1:2-3King James Version (KJV)

² My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
³ Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

But let me tell you something, repeating that over and over in your head and actually meaning it are 2 different things. 

I tried crying out to God, literally crying, "Thank you, Lord for this!" but it was said in more of a sarcastic/angry tone than what I would call thankfulness.

I tried crying out to God, "Make me thankful for this!"

But more often than not, my hearts cry was, "Lord, why me?! Take this from me!! Please! Get me out of this! I can't take anymore!"

I am crying tears this morning while typing this because for the first time I can truly say, "Thank You, Lord for this year!" and I mean every single word.

He has been so good and so faithful to me.

I can see His hand so clearly and I am in awe that He would allow me to experience such a year of heartache just to show me His love, His goodness, His faithfulness to ME.

To Me.

He has planted people in my path who LOVE me and pray for me.

He has given sermons that I need at just the right moment that literally transform my thinking.

He has given me Scripture that once meant nothing and now mean everything.

He has given me songs that minister to my heart and soul. Songs I meditate on and write out in my prayer journal when I don't have the words to say.

He has given me grace for each and every day. 

He has absolutely matured me and shown me things He didn't have to show me.

I can say, I am not today who I was a year ago and for that, "Thank You, Lord". 

It really is amazing what a year can do. A year when I wanted to turn my back on God, but no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't for one minute live without Him. He was my only constant. I learned this past year just how much I NEED my Abba Father.

I know I need the Lord every single day. I need him like I need air. I cannot do it without Him. I now depend on Him for it all and I never have done that before.

I guess the point of this is to encourage you!

If you are in the pits of hell and everything that you thought was is no more, don't give up. Don't turn from your God. Even when you don't feel like it, go through the motions of prayer, Bible reading, church, Bible study, singing praise and worship songs..... I promise you, I PROMISE you if you stay the course, you will get through this time and you will grow and change in ways you never dreamed. God is using this terrible time to work in you and change you, even if you don't think you need changing... HE does. When He is finished, you will agree, you needed it too!

And one day.... one day maybe far away, you will say, "Lord, it was worth it all."