Baking Bread and Preschool

It's no ordinary day in our house today.

DADDY IS HOME!!!!!

Brent has been gone for 3 straight days and he was home when we got home from the gym/grocery shopping this morning. The boys were so excited to see him. He laid on the bed and they played together for awhile before his eyes could no longer handle it.

This is what was in my dreams when I was a little girl!

The boys are now playing together and playing well together. That actually just happened recently- the playing well together part. I love to see them interact, communicate, and imaginate (I know, I know. I made that word up.) together. It warms my heart.

Right before I sat down to blog, a naked Webb came to me and said, "I pee in the hunting club, mom." Dane's hunting club, that Santa brought, stays in our living room (When you are a mom, you decorate with interesting decor) and Webb had gone in there and peed in the floor! Life is anything but boring when you have 2 boys in the house!

Hopefully nudity doesn't offend you. If it does,  don't ever just "drop by" our house.

Here he is telling me. He was unbelievably proud of himself.

I get asked so often if Dane is in preschool. No. He is not. He is 4 years old and my personal opinion is that he should be a 4 year old-- playing at home with his mommy and brother. He has the rest of his life for school. This is my very own personal opinion. If you send your 4 year old to preschool, I do not judge you or think you are a bad mom. So, what does Dane do all day?

 He goes to preschool. He plays, learns, cooks, picks up his toys, play games, sings songs, explores outside, practices using his imagination, learns new words, reads books, we teach basic skills-- like using your inside voice (still working on this one!), sharing, listening, sitting still and paying attention, counting, following instructions, and being kind to name a few. He is at home with me, under my supervision, and learning what I want him to learn. I also instill Bible principles, we restudy Bible lessons from church and Bible study, read the Bible, practice memory verses, and see songs to Jesus. Those are pretty much the only differences.

We sat down yesterday to do some school. It is very low key here, because I feel like he is learning constantly, so sitting down with a workbook page (at age 4) is rare. We did yesterday though and I only had the intention of doing 2 pages before going outside to play. Dane would not stop though. We ended up doing 8 pages before I declared it outside time. I was in need of some sunshine and I knew they had some energy built up. Dane explored with his magnifying glass and Webb played with his big choo choo Santa brought.

 We also climbed trees, rode bikes, looked for worms, and ran around. I personally love having them home to share in all these things with.

I am going back to Dave Ramsey's plan of envelope system. I want to get us out of debt that we got during unemployment, plus be smart with every single penny that is coming in. Right now we have just been flying by the seat of our pants. We have no idea where our money goes each month and we spend it on insane things. I am ready to take control and know where it is going. The grocery budget is what I am focusing on right now. I want to put every extra cent towards debt, so as I look at what we buy (we buy a LOT of food-- feeding boys and a woman that is not afraid to eat requires LOTS of food). Obviously, I cannot not buy food. I just want to be smart with what I am buying. I want to get the most bang for my buck. We haven't bought "organic" since unemployment. Things were just incredibly tight for us and that was an area we cut back on. We bought a few organic items, but mainly, we didn't. We are still not to that point yet. I don't feel like I can breathe with the weight of debt on my shoulders. Therefore, we will cut back as much as possible to get that taken care of. Organic is practically double, so that won't work right now. Plus, I want to save for my van to get fixed!

I buy good bread from Costco and we eat LOTS and LOTS of bread. It is fairly cheap ($4.50 for 2 loaves and it is good, wholesome ingredients). I spend about $20-$30 on bread a MONTH. I wasn't lying when I said we eat a lot. I decided, that is an area I can save on. So, I am back to making my bread. I started today actually.

The worst thing about making homemade bread is we almost eat the entire loaf when it comes out of the oven. It is sooooo much better than store bought. It's all warm and fresh and we cannot stop picking at it. I have got to find me some raw milk in this area. I want to start making my own butter again too because homemade bread and homemade butter has to be what heaven tastes like. OMG. SOOOOOOOO divine!!!!!

I am trying a new recipe with the bread. It is supposed to be a "copy cat" recipe to Great Harvest Bread Company. Super easy and super cheap. I haven't sat down to figure up total costs for a loaf, but I would venture to say, $1.50 a loaf or so.

I sat down to blog to get out of doing what I need to do:

I could tackle this laundry that needs to be folded. (Or I could even paint that section of white wall next to the fireplace that Brent had to fix.)

 I could clean out my sink-- that police car got sprayed with Webb's pee and is drying after its bath. The lunch box needs to be washed out. The ground turkey is for dinner tonight-- I'm thinking homemade chili- and I really could let it be simmering. The large turkey is for dinner tomorrow night/turkey meat for sandwiches.

Or I could even paint this door my husband hung up for me Friday and the trim that goes with it. BUT.. I think I'll wait till he finishes the base boards.

Seriously, there is more I could be doing (like playing with my boys or reading to them), so I guess while my hubby is sleeping, I'll go get those things done so we can hang out when he wakes up.

I hope you all have a happy Tuesday. Please be praying for our family. We have a serious prayer request concerning my mom. I will share more in a later update.

Want To Be A Part Of God Working?

I heard a sermon on the way home from Ringgold last night that was talking about prayer. AWESOME sermon by the way.

The gist of it was: when you pray, you are not playing a game where you might change God's mind and you might now depending on how well you do. Nope. The decision is already made in His mind. His plan will happen just like He wants it to. BUT... when you pray, you give God the opportunity to prove Himself, His magnificence, His omnipotence  and His righteous to you. You get to be a part of it. You get to see His hand. You get to see His power. You get to see His glory.

And what happens after that--- You PRAISE God. You give Him glory. You tell others how great and mighty and wonderful He is.

Those that don't pray... or those that don't pray to a Sovereign, Almighty, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the One and Only, TRUE God don't necessarily have bad things happen to them or never experience good. No, God is still gracious and He provides, they just miss out on being a part of God's work.

We have seen God at work A LOT here lately. Especially back in August. We were on our knees begging God for direction, so when that door opened up, the only "person" we were praising was God Himself. We were thanking and praising Him for answering our prayer and opening up a door and also shutting another door. We watched God provide through the year of unemployment, through school, moving, finding a church, finding a home, Brent getting hired (not one, but two places), Brent going back to school, and much more with much more that we are praying for that we hope to see answered within a few days or weeks.

Now, we find ourselves in yet another pickle.

I'll back up.

We took a Dave Ramsey class in 2010 at our church and we were working to Live Like No One Else, So Later, We Could Live Like No One Else. We had checked many things off our list to do that. We were working on saving 6 months of expenses in case something terrible happened. Something like your husband losing his job he has been with for 10 years, just 2 days after he turned 30.

Oh wait, that happened, didn't it?

That nice savings account we had built up.... s...l...o...w...l...y... diminished. Which was part of the reason we hit our knees begging God, "What now???" back in August. God was so good though. He allowed us to live for a year with our savings and the exact month He told us to move, was the exact month Brent finished school and we had nothing "holding" us there.

After we moved here, He continued to provide for us, many times with us not knowing how He did it! The day we were moving into our house, I felt my transmission in my van slip. I tried not to worry about it, but it started doing it more and more. Eventually, we realized we were going to HAVE to get it fixed. We aren't exactly in the position to pay $3,500-$4,500 (quotes we received) to have it fixed so we parked it while we decided to start praying about what God wants us to do. My mother-in-law was super kind and said I could drive her car, she calls it the Pimp Mobile and we have affectionately begun calling it that as well, why we are in limbo about what to do.

You know you are jealous!

I am so grateful to have a vehicle to drive!!!! Praise the Lord that He already had this one figured out too and that my MIL was kind enough to loan us her car during this time. My FIL still cannot drive after his accident, so my MIL is driving his truck.

Now, here we are.... I'm sure my MIL would love to have her car back in the year 2013 ;-) We are absolutely not willing to get a car payment right now... it goes against our belief and it would not be smart since Brent starts back to school for 18mnts next week. His hours will be cut down and we don't want to feel pressure. SO our options are pretty much-- selling my van and buying something with that money or saving to have the transmission worked on. 

-Side note: my van is worth just a little bit more than getting the transmission worked on.

All of that very long story to ask you if you would please pray with us that God's will will be evident to us. I believe if it's important to me, it's important to God and this is pretty important to me! I am giving YOU the chance to be a part of GOD working!!! See, when I post the answered prayer, you will be excited because you will have invested time in praying for this! :-)

I really do appreciate it!!! Thank you :-)

Letters To My Boys

I thought I would share something personal with you guys today.

Ever since I was pregnant with Dane, I would write letters to him. After he was born, I carried on the tradition. Every few months, I sit down and write a letter to Dane and Webb, documenting my feelings and love towards them at that time and some special things from that age.

I am hoping that one day, my sons can look back from the time they were born to the present time and get a better understanding of my love for them. If they ever doubt my love, they should have countless love letters from me to them. I hope and pray these will be things they cherish and hold dear. Not to sound depressing, but if something horrible should ever happen to me, my kids can still grow up knowing how much I loved them.

I am starting to take my handwritten letters and type them up and save them on the computer. I decided during that process, that some other moms out there might enjoy doing this for their children and that is what led me to share this on my blog.

I will share two letters per child. The first one will be the most recent letter after their birth and the second one will be the most recent letter I have done for them.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope that as readers, you too, get a better understanding of my deep love for my children.

            June 18, 2008

Dane,

You are 13 days old and I am so in love with you. Everything about you is just so perfect. I sit and stare at you for hours at a time. Your little hands and feet, your growing belly, your adorable lips, and soft velvet hair. It is all so amazing to me! I am so thankful for you and I am so glad we had you. Even though you were not planned, you WERE NOT an accident. I don’t ever want you to think that. You are a miracle and a dream come true. I have wanted to be a mommy my entire life and you made that desire happen for me. You are so special.

Mommy labored for 32 long hours to bring you into the world and it was so worth it. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. It was the best day of my entire life and by far, the most exciting day. Towards the end of my labor, when I was pushing, they lost your heartbeat because you were under my pubic bone. They didn’t know if that was the case or not. Luckily, I was unaware of any of that… I was too intent on getting you out. However, your daddy, your Gammie, and the midwives were aware of it and frightened. After you were born and placed on my chest, I looked up at your daddy and he was crying. Dane, your daddy didn’t think you were alive and he was so scared. He asked if you were ok and the midwives assured him they could feel your heartbeat and they had him feel also. That is something that once I found out, I will never forget. All of your cooing and fussing are such precious sounds to me, even your occasional crying is music to my ears. I am thankful for your health, heartbeat, and noises. God is so good and I thank Him every day for you! I promise to do my best as a mommy. I know I will make mistakes, but just know I am trying my best. We will slowly learn this thing together. I love you so much and so does your daddy. He amazes me with you. Dane, your daddy is so in love with you. I love watching him with you and listening to the sweet things he whispers to you. You are the light of his life and the 2 of you are going to have lots and lots of fun together through the years. Mommy and daddy love each other too. No matter what happens in life, remember that. Your daddy is the love of my life. We have so much fun together and God is working on our relationship, making it stronger and making us stronger together—you are helping us also.

Psalm 127:3 says, “Children are a gift from the Lord. Babies are a reward.” Dane if there is anything I want for you in life it is for you to give your life to the Lord. I pray that as your grow I do a good job of teaching you about Jesus and educating you on the Bible. Jesus died for you, Dane.

Accept Him as your personal Savior at a young age and grow up loving Him and serving Him. He will direct all your paths and He is the only person who will never let you down. I love you more than you’ll ever know. Don’t grow up too fast… Mommy loves holding you and you won’t let me much longer.

Love,

Mommy

September 7, 2010

Webb,

Welcome to the world, Webb! You are 6 days old and I am so completely in love with you. I remember my labor and your birth so vividly and I find myself thinking back to it numerous times in the day. Your birth was so beautiful, so peaceful, and so perfect. The labor was short and I well rested and well prepared. I remember so well pushing you out. In the middle of my pushing I reached down and felt your little head. Excitement pulsed through me because I knew I was SO close to meeting my sweet baby. When daddy caught you and placed you on my chest, pure raw love overflowed from me. My precious baby BOY was finally here, healthy and beautiful. I was so thankful for you, praising God that it went smoothly, you were here, and you were perfect. I looked down into your sweet face and couldn’t understand how it was possible to love you with the same amount and same type of love as I have for your big brother. How it works, I’ll never understand. You are a wonderful baby with an exceptional big brother. I cannot wait to watch the two of you grow up together.

Each day, I look into your beautiful face and I thank God for you. You are a miracle and a dream come true. I love your every feature, your downy skin, your bony legs, arms, and bum bum. I love your long feet, toes, hands, and fingers. I love your little grunts and coos. I love your eyes- even the one with the little blood shot dot. I love how you look like Dane. I love how good you sleep and nurse. I could go on and on. I could also sit and hold you all day and sometimes, I do.

I cannot wait to see what your personality is like, what your talents and hobbies will be. I can’t wait to hear you pray to God like your big brother. I can’t wait to see all the opportunities that will come your way and what you will do with them. But then again, I want to freeze the hands of time and keep you right where you are.

I prayed for you daily while I was pregnant and now that you are here, I continue to cover you in prayer. I pray for many many things concerning you, your life, and your safety. One of my biggest and deepest prayers is that I do a good job of teaching you about God, His Son, Jesus, and the gift of salvation He presents to all. My prayer, Webb, is that you will learn to trust and love Jesus at a young age and that early in life, you will give your heart to Him so you have a security of a home in Heaven.

My sweet boy, the day you were born, I said a prayer, thanking God for the gift of you. You are ultimately His and He has loaned you to me. I know He loves you far greater than I can fathom. I trust Him with you and I know that He will always take care of you.

I am so excited to be your mommy. I look forward to watching you grow and seeing all your wonderful milestones. Don’t grow up too fast though, my precious Webb.

All My Love,
Mommy

January 1, 2013

Dane,

We are starting a new year and you have reminded me many times that this year, you will turn 5. Really? How did we get to 5 this quickly? It just can’t be so. You, my sweet boy, made my dream of becoming a mother real and I love you for it. You are the most special, precious 4 year old I know and I love you with all my heart.

I am amazed at how fast you have grown. You are officially big in my book. You dress yourself, get snacks by yourself, bathe yourself, brush your own teeth, buckle your own carseat, cut your own food with a knife, and so much more. I stand back and watch you sometimes with a bittersweet feeling coursing through me. I am so proud of you and this is what every mother dreams of--- a healthy child who develops at the right time and can do what they are supposed to do, yet, at the same time, it feels like yesterday that I found out I was expecting you. The fear I felt when I heard the news is still so real. I wasn’t cut out to be a mother?!?! Yet, I had always dreamed of being a mom. The moment I laid eyes on you, God humbled me as I realized God had entrusted you to me, and you deserved SO much better than me. I have spent every day since then trying my best to become all you (and Webb) deserve. I fail daily, but I have found, you and Webb are quick to forgive when I come to you and apologize.

You are into camo right now. You wear camo underwear, camo socks, camo pants, camo belt, camo shirt, camo jacket, camo toboggan, and camo boots. Each and every day, it is the same attire. It really is humorous to me. On Sundays, I let you wear camo pants and camo boots, but I make you wear a nice button down shirt. We are good at compromising after 4 years of working together. For Christmas, you asked for hunting thing and hunting clothes. I never expected my 4 year old to ask for more clothes than he did toys! LOL.

I love to watch you and Webb when you don’t realize I am. You are so sweet with him and like to help him understand things. You also like to pester the crap out of him, but I’m pretty sure that comes with the territory of brothers (or siblings in general). I spanked Webb this afternoon for disobeying and you walked up behind me and spanked me with an angry look on your face. I had to turn so you wouldn’t see the pride on my face. I was proud. That is what you are supposed to do—look out for your little brother, however, spanking me is unacceptable! LOL.

This past week, we were snuggled up on the couch. I said, “Dane, me and you should talk about our day”, then I asked what your favorite part of the day was. You said, “Hmmmmm” and looked away for a long time. Then you turned to me and said, “Right now. Right here, with you, mom.” You melted my heart. I never want to forget that.

You now have responsibilities in the house and you take them very seriously. I am so proud of the sweet, loving boy you are. I will thank God all of my days for interrupting my life and blessing me with YOU!

As we start a new year, I am praying for God to keep a hedge of protection around you. Not just physically, but also mentally. This is a crazy world we live in and it is getting crazier by the day. My prayer is that daddy and I do the right job sheltering you from what you need to be sheltered from and exposing you to what you need to be exposed to. I pray that you stay innocent as long as possible. I pray that you continue to have a heart for others, especially your brother. I pray that your love for Jesus grows. More than anything, I pray that you grasp what Jesus Christ did for you and you believe with all your heart that He died for you. I pray that you repent of your sins and ask Him into your heart at an early age.

I love you, my precious angel boy and I am so glad I am your mommy. Always remember, my favorite part of every day is when I am with you.

Mommy

November 8, 2012

Dear Webb,

You are 2 years old now and what a joy you are to this family. We have discovered you LOVE to make people laugh. If you get a laugh from someone, you will keep doing whatever made them laugh over and over. You make us laugh all the time. Many, many times, when I am getting onto you, I cannot because you make me laugh. Anytime I reprimand you, you laugh at me. You are just so cute, I can’t help but laugh! You are so silly, sweet, and loving. You love Dane more than anyone in this world! You do anything he asks of you without a fight (most of the time!). I spend many days wondering what we would do without you in our family, which means I spend many days thanking God for blessing us with you. You and Dane are best buds. I LOVE to watch the two of you together. I get tears as I see you out in the yard, playing together without a care in the world. I utter quick prayers like, “Lord, let them be close always. Help them love one another. Don’t let years make them distant, allow the years to make them closer” and more.

We are living at Nana and Papa’s house as we renovate our new house, Pappy’s old house. Today, I came out of the bathroom and you were on a toy four-wheeler (made for toys but you ALWAYS sit on it and roll around. LOL) on the first step of Nana’s 2^nd level. You were at a downward slope headed down the stairs on this. I caught you just in time and when I caught you, you said, “Watch mommy! COOL!!!!” You have no fear!!! I especially get glimpses of your fearlessness if you see Dane do something brave OR if Dane tells you to do something brave. You won’t even think twice before you attempt whatever that is. You watched Dane slide down a slide backwards and upside down ONE time before you went up and did the same thing!

You love trains (or “choo choo trains” as you call them). You love books, clothes, toys, railroad tracks, and more. You are constantly spotting choo choo trains and screaming out, “CHOO CHOO, MOMMA!!!” Dane never liked choo choos so this is new for us. You genuinely love them though.

We were at the Library yesterday and it was quiet except for the soft voice of the story teller. Outside we heard an ambulance drive by. You shrieked at the top of your lungs, “DADDY!!!! MOMMY!!! DADDY DRIVE THAT!!!! DADDY DRIVE THAT ‘AMBANCE’!!!!” It was so cute. Anytime we see ambulances or fire trucks or hear them, you go crazy screaming that daddy rides that.

My prayer for you sweet boy is that you understand at an early age about Jesus and what He did for you. I pray that mommy and daddy do a good job of raising you and teaching you about our King. I pray you have a childlike faith and grasp your need for a Savior at a young age.

We love you so much, Webb and we thank God for placing you in our family at just the right time. I cannot wait to see more of your personality emerge through the years and watch you and Dane grow closer and closer. You are super special to all of us. I love you, Webb Webb.

Mommy

Happy New Year

I cannot believe today starts 2013! That has to be the fastest year in the history of years!

I know part of that is because I am a mom and I stand amazed at how fast time flies with my children. Just today, I looked at Dane and saw that he had completely dressed himself-- camo underwear and socks, blue jeans, camo belt (done the correct way), camo shirt, camo jacket, and camo boots and I was amazed that my baby can handle getting dressed, that well, all by himself.

Did you make any resolutions for the new year? I always think of ways I would like to better myself. This year here is a list of mine:

1) Get up in enough time each morning that spending time with the Lord is doable and I don't feel rushed. I want to feel like I have all the time in the world to be still and hear from the Lord and finish my Bible study for the day.

2) To be a more patient mom. I find that it is so easy to get annoyed or frustrated. What am I teaching my children when I react this way? Impatience, of course. I want to teach them patience.

3) To better love my husband and children the way they each need to be loved. Seriously though, we do not know my husband's love language. We even took an 8 week class at church and during that time, we couldn't figure it out. He swears it is "Receiving" which is definitely not a language of love! LOL. My love language is gifts, so I think he has just found a way to get more gifts!!! I think it is a close tie between acts of service and quality time. I also feel loved with acts of service (a close 2nd for me) and so it is easy for me to love him that way. Dane's is definitely touch and Webb is too young to be determined. My goal is to show all the languages of love to each of them and to shower them with love in their language.

4) To join the church we have been visiting. We have filled out the papers to join, but I will only join with my husband there with me and him awake. LOL. The last Sunday he was there (not working), he had just gotten off work and he was exhausted. I want to wait and have him awake and in a "talkative mood". This Sunday, he works, so who knows when it will happen. Not only do I want to join, I want to get involved. The boys will start AWANA in January, Brent and I will start a Discipleship Class in January, and we had the sweetest older couple ever!! offer to Disciple us one on one in Feb. or March and we both want to do that. I just want to be used how God wants me to be used other than that.

5) To find joy in the simplicity of life. I do not want to be consumed with materialism. I want to be satisfied with what I have and find contentment in what we have. I think it is so easy to "want want want" and I want to focus on teaching my boys contentment.

6) To get organized and start a very (VERY) low key homeschool in August. I need to get my butt in gear because I want to have it all planned and be prepared. In the state of GA, we do not turn anything in until the child is 6, so technically, I have another year. Dane LOVES to learn though and so I would like to use this year to get us both accustomed to a school schedule. I also want to get involved in the homeschool community here because there is a huge one.

7) To teach my boys more about Jesus, prayer, values, manners, and responsibilities (more on this later). Dane is already learning and comprehending so much about Jesus and Heaven. Our church does an amazing job of reiterating what we teach at home. More importantly, I want their childlike faith to play out. I am praying fervently for my children to get saved. I believe the Lord could come back at any time and if it is not while they are still at a young age that has not reached accountability, and they are old enough to understand, I do not want my children to be left behind. At that point and time, they don't get another chance. I could never ever live with myself if I did not take my God-given responsibility and teach my children about Jesus and how to get to Heaven. That would be like me choosing to send my children to hell. I want to look around me in Heaven and see my entire family, but especially, most definitely, my babies. I am trying very hard to get my boys to pray on a regular basis at any time of the day. If we get  asked to pray for something, I ask my boys to pray with me about it and we will pray right there. Generally, I will ask them to say a sentence to God about that prayer request. They both have prayers they have learned in Bible Study and at each meal they both HAVE to say their prayer. I love it! I just want them to realize we pray more than over a meal and we can pray any time we feel led. We pray many times while driving and I remind them we don't have to close our eyes to talk to God. I am also working on values and manners. We recently taught Dane the "Golden Rule" and so I use that a lot in disciplining. I also use scripture and let Dane know that when he sins, he doesn't just make mommy and daddy sad, he makes Jesus sad. I make him apologize to us all. With the manners, I am really working on instilling "mam" and "sir". Words I swore I would never make my children say. I am finding though that children sound so well-mannered and RESPECTFUL when they use these phrases. Along with things like, "excuse me", "thank you", "no thank you", "I'm sorry", etc. I am also making the boys tell me "thank you for my breakfast (lunch, dinner, etc). It was good." I know one day that will come natural and their wives will thank me ;-) along with other adults who work hard to cook for others. One thing children lack the most of these days is respect. Especially respect for their elders. I want my children to respect God, me, authority, and their elders. It is that simple. As for the responsibilities, I mentioned last post I am practically a single mother these days. I realized really quick that I was going to need help and there is no reason Dane and Webb can't be my helpers! They actually love it and I praise them and reward them. It works for us!

8) I have said it before and not done it and here I am saying it again. I want to memorize scripture. I want to know the Bible and have references to back me up or to help me through.

9) I want to take more time to just relax and not be so OCD about my house. I want to take the kids to the park, have a movie day, have picnics, and play games. I want them to remember me being with them and helping to make life fun!

10) I want to be a light. I have never felt such a burden to witness to my lost family and friends. Like I said before, I believe this could be the year Jesus comes back. It is close folks. I am learning things and seeing things for the first time. I finally understand that those who have heard the name of Jesus and have had the opportunity presented to them before to get saved and don't take it, after the rapture, they don't get any more chances. I have many lost family members and friends. What am I doing by not witnessing my heart out? Trying to keep them from being mad at me? Seriously?? I am ashamed to say that yes, I am afraid for them to get upset with me. With a couple family members, we have had the discussion numerous times and they don't want to hear it. They do not believe a loving God would ever send people to hell and they don't even know if there is a "heaven". They don't want to see Bible references, they don't want to talk about it. They believe what they believe and I am not going to change that. My burden is that the rapture could happen right this second and there are precious lives that will be left here, that I don't get to spend eternity with. That will burn forever and ever and ever in hell, separated from God forever and the saddest part is, when that happens, oh, they'll believe. They will see for themselves that Jesus Christ is Lord and there is a REAL heaven and a REAL hell and more than anything in the world they will want another chance to choose JESUS, but... it will be too late. How many of them will also have their children by their side. Precious, precious babies that could have heard about Jesus from me?!! As you can see, I am burdened. Please pray that I will take advantage of every opportunity presented to me to spread the news of Jesus.


I mentioned the responsibilities earlier. We started this last month and it worked wonderfully. I will share the chart that we leave on the fridge, the individual responsibilities, and the rewards.

Dane's responsibilities are to take his plate to the garbage after he eats, dump the food, and put the plate either in the sink or dishwasher, pick up his toys at the end of each day, and to feed and water Rosie (the dog) twice a day. He does all of this each day and he is 4. He also does it wonderfully.

Webb has the same responsibilities except he doesn't feed the dog, he takes all our clothes to the laundry room at the end of the day. He is 2 and he does a wonderful job with this.

They can earn up to 3 stars a day. If, at the end of the week, they have 21 stars, they receive $1.00. If they have less than 21 stars, they receive $0.50. So, I'm out, at most, $8.00 a month in return for instilling in them some work ethic and reward for hard work.

What do they do with that money you might ask?

The first part of every thing they makes, goes in the their Give jar. This is God's money and they take it to church and tithe. We do a little more for the boys than the 10% God commands us to. They give $1.00 to God each month regardless of what they make. Then, they put money in their save jar (they will generally put $2.00 here). It is never to early to start saving (I'm thinking car and college fund. LOL I can dream!). The last jar they have is spending. They can save up and go spend their own money on something they like. I like this because it teaches them the value of a dollar and more importantly, it instills in them who the money belongs to. My parents did a GREAT job of teaching me to tithe and Brent's parents did also. That makes tithing something we don't ever NOT do. It is 2nd nature to tithe 10% off our first earnings. We don't give God what we have left or worse, give God nothing. For us, we tithe and then we use the money we have left for bills and whatnot. I can say though, there have been times it was hard to write that check out. I wondered (especially during unemployment) how we would survive if I gave God that much. However, our parents instilled in us, we didn't have a choice. In all honestly, I have seen God provide for a bill the minute after I tithed all that was left in my account. He is faithful and one thing I have learned is, He doesn't provide so I will have faith and tithe. He provides after I have put my faith in action to show Himself faithful. He is just awesome and after what I have seen Him do and the ways I have seen Him provide, I could never go a week without tithing. I want my boys to be the same way.

I am thankful for the help the boys are proving to be to me. They are amazing little people and I am honored to be their mommy!

Today, we have no big plans. We have been lazy all day and we will continue being lazy. I have not turned on cartoons for the day and I plan on leaving them off today. The boys have played soooooo well together. We cooked our favorite banana bread this morning (It is to DIE for!!) and it makes 2 loaves. You all know my love of dessert and this is like a dessert IMO. So, I am taking a loaf to the station so the guys can have some healthy New Year's dessert (It really is as healthy as a banana bread can get. I use pure ingredients). That way, I don't eat 2 loaves today! LOL.

I replace the pecans with pure, dark chocolate chips because... well, why not???

This evening we will go to my in-laws for beans, greens, cornbread, and meatloaf when Brent gets off at 7pm (hopefully. He might have to stay for 24 though and we will go without him). I did the honors of buying hog jowl to cook. Yummy!! My MIL is thrilled. LOL.

I hope you all have a healthy, happy, wonderful 2013! Make the decision to make this the best year yet!

Our New Normal

Good Evening!

It feels so nice to be sitting at my computer desk and on MY computer. We have lived in the house for about a month now (I think. I seriously have no idea when we moved in!) and internet JUST started working tonight. URG. It has been a constant battle with AT&T. Hopefully, from this point forward, we will have no complaints!

My boys are tucked into bed and sleeping. I am LOVING this new schedule I have them on. I officially have them on a wonderful schedule!!!!!! I start the dinner thing around 4pm, prepping it, getting dishes ready, table cleared off, kitchen ready for the cooking, etc. and dinner is generally served between 5:00-5:30pm. After dinner, we clean up and the boy take their own plates to the garbage can, dump their food and put their plates and silverware in the dishwasher. Then, I scoot them out of the kitchen while I finish cleaning up/packing Brent his lunchbox if he is home and getting ready to leave. We start bath rituals around 6:15-6:20pm. Once out of the shower, we get ready for bed and read some of a chapter book. We actually just finished Little House in the Big Woods tonight and Dane is itching to get Farmer Boy-- the next book in the series.

The book took us a few months to finish and it is amazing at the transformation during that time of Dane and Webb's listening skills. When we started it, I just knew I was ready to get them to sit still and listen, without tons of pictures, and for them to make pictures in their minds. Dane COULD NOT handle that (or Webb, but I never expected that). He jumped and horsed around while I read out loud to myself. I stuck with it telling myself this was the best way for him to adapt and it really was. Before long, he was so interested in Pa and when he would hunt again and how he hunted, what he hunted, etc. The sisters and when they would go to town. How Ma would get water and how did she ever get her cow? He would sit with a distant look in his eyes and question everything. I tried to be patient between mere words as I answered a million questions (that I DID NOT know the answers to) because I realized I had accomplished what I set out to do!

After book, it is generally 7:00pm-7:15pm. Sometimes, they grab a quick snack (almonds, pecans, pretzels in mustard, banana, apple, etc) and then we  brush teeth and hit the sack. We are generally in the bed by 7:30pm. Although Webb never lasts all night, I start him off in bed with Dane. I nurse him until he falls asleep and Dane is generally always asleep by then, If he is not, I lay there until he is asleep. For the most part, they are both sleeping by 8pm.

Our schedules were so out of whack when we moved in and I was literally adjusting to being a single mom. I went from a husband who was unemployed and for the most part, home more often than not, to a husband who is gone 2-4 days straight. I will not act like I handled it well. I did not. I was a crying mess-- emotional, angry, lonely, sad... and the worst thing was, I took it out on my husband and kids. Every time Brent got called in or text to say he wouldn't be coming home, I would burst into tears. I think the worst thing was, it was hard on the kids too. We all missed Daddy. They were extra fussy and here I was, playing single momma and trying to get the house in order and everything perfect for Christmas.I was so stressed!!! During all of this, the kids went to bed late, got up early or late, I never knew and I NEVER had peace and quiet or time to myself. I knew something had to give in order for me to make it. That is when I got on a strict schedule. I really and truly knew Brent was doing what he felt was best and he was providing for his family-- something he really struggled with during unemployment. He was busting his butt to provide for us and here I was putting him through a guilt trip for it and taking everything out on the kids. I had a melt down with Brent and was sobbing when I told him I sucked at being a wife and mom and maybe I wasn't cut out for this single momma stuff. He was patient and kind and told me I didn't suck and it would just take time.He told me to start praying for a full-time position so we could see him more. On any given week, Brent will work 100+ hours. The week of Christmas, he worked 144 hours. If he was full time, he would work 24 on, 48 off. It would be a pay cut, but we would have daddy home and that is most important. When he originally got hired, he was told it would/could take up to a year to get full-time. Things have happened though and there is a full time position open in January.He is obviously low man on the totem pole with others who are part-time and been there longer who want it. We are praying he might get that position though and trusting that if it is God's plan, he'll be starting full time in a few days. On top of all of that, he starts back to school in Jan for his paramedic. I am so proud of him. He never settles for anything but the best. As I started praying for a full time position for Brent, God put it on my heart to start praying about my attitude. I prayed and literally, in about 2 weeks time of us moving in/him working all these CRAZY amounts of hours, God has changed my heart. I really think we all had to adjust. Me, the boys, and even Brent. Now, I don't expect him home. It comes with the territory and he is doing what he has to. He has a better chance of getting a full time position if he never turns down a shift. He is working his tail off in hopes of getting full time much quicker than expected. I have completely adjusted to being mommy and daddy and although the days and nights are tough and I would love to have him here, it just makes when he is home that much sweeter.

Now we get up by 7am to get ready for the gym and we have a nice routine going on.

How was everyone's Christmas? Ours was PERFECT!!! The best yet. Brent only had Christmas Eve off and he came home that morning at 7am. Santa had to come a day early to accommodate, but it was awesome. The boys are both at such fun ages. They were so excited about all of their gifts. It was also awesome to celebrate Christmas with my brother and sister-in-law from Texas. I haven't celebrated with my brother in at least 10 years and never with my nieces and nephew. It was sooooooo great to be all together.

I must give a huge shout out to the grandparents this year! Last year, every single big gift that toys stores were selling, my children got. I mean, seriously. It was unbelievable. This year, they held back and got less toys and more clothes (Really, mommy gifts there) and it was so much less stressful. Too much stuff is just overwhelming. They are perfectly content with 3 or 4 toys each. We are blessed with family who loves us and spoils us though, so I hope this doesn't come across as a complaint. LOL.

We are anticipating 2013 with excitement. I am so happy and content with where God has led us. I NEVER dreamed we would end 2012 where we are when we started the year. God is faithful and His ways are not ours. I am so thankful for each thing that 2012 brought us--- the good, the bad, and the ugly. It was a year of trials, hurts, tests, amazement, scares, laughter, tears, heartbreaks, happiness, and JOY-- always JOY. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. I learned more than I ever thought possible for a years time. God chiseled at me and changed me. 2013--- I am ready to rock this and see what awaits us. I know it will all be good-- my life is in my Father's Hands!

Until next time...

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

I don't know about you guys, but I am super duper excited for Christmas this year. The boys are both at fun ages and they both have interests and things they want from Santa and believe with all their heart and soul he will bring (and he is!).

Christmas is a time to reflect on the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We make sure to center our celebrating around Him, His birth, and His presence in our life. If you ask the boys why we celebrate Christmas, they both say, "IT'S BECAUSE OF JESUS!!!" I love that. I realize as a mom how important it is for me to keep my boys focused on Christ. I can't get so consumed in the hussle and bussle, gifts, and running to and fro that I forget to take the time to sit with my boys and talk about a nativity scene. Tell the Christmas story and get excited about what took place that night, letting the boys "fill in the blank" of the story as we go. Remind them (and me) of what this special and magical season is truly about.

My prayer is that in your home, you too understand and grasp the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus is the REASON for the season.

Don't get me wrong... we enjoy all the fun and magic of Christmas too. We will miss our Elf, Darla, when she is gone, we the Red-sing Rudolph Nosed Raindeer 874 times a day, and we discuss "Christmas magic" and how Santa goes all over in one night and can fly.



That is just a little on my mind tonight. I'll leave you with a guest blogger post. A friend of mine Danielle, from A Mom's Best Guess, is sharing her beautiful home birth story for all of you. Please take the time to read. It is an amazing story:




The choice to birth at home was decided upon through many prayers, research, and finding the perfect midwife.  My mind was set while dating my husband and knowing that I wanted to have children with him. I approached him with the option to birth in our home to which he stated, “Isn’t that illegal?” I loaded him down with facts, videos, personal accounts, and scare tactics(!!!) against hospital birth, took a deep breath then told him to seek what God wanted for our family. Against my expectations, Chris desired birth to be as I had for our future children.

Fast forward to the weeks before our wedding, and you would hear me “joking” that I would become pregnant on our honeymoon. This did not happen, but I did get a visit from Aunt Flo that week! To me, this was good news; my body was preparing itself to conceive. A week later, I just knew I was pregnant. I am uncertain if it was more of a physical or emotional feeling, but I knew I was pregnant. I did not count down the days to when I could take an early pregnancy test. But one evening, after a date night, Chris brought it to my attention that we could take a test to know for sure! Two tests later, and he was convinced.

I quickly contacted the only person I knew that had a home birth, Abby. Her birth story of her second son in water at home gripped my heart and set the stage for the birth of our baby. I saw the midwife she used, and before the end of the meeting, Chris and I knew (with one look and a wink between us) that Carolyn would be an excellent completion to our dream birth.

The one-hour visits to Carolyn monthly then weekly completely fulfilled my questions and fears. She was a mentor, counselor, and guiding voice in these unchartered waters. Every visit, she would check my weight and say “That’s great!” blood pressure “Perfect!”  More than once I would ask if that was too much weight or too high of a blood pressure; her answer reminded me that pregnancies do not fit into a box. So what if my fundal height was 2 cm more than the norm or I hadn’t gained but one pound or ten in a couple of weeks. Carolyn saw the big picture; she was concerned with my health as well as the baby’s, and I trusted her.

A few weeks before my 40 week due date, Braxton hicks contractions started. I was so excited to start feeling signs of approaching labor! I knew the baby could come the next day or two weeks later. I continued to see a chiropractor and attend yoga sessions. I did not have discomfort throughout the pregnancy even up to this point; I attribute this to consistent chiropractic care. Yoga during pregnancy was relaxing, an escape to feel my body and it’s changes. 

The morning of August 9, 2012 I woke up at 5:45 sensing that something was about to take place. After sitting up in bed, I felt that I was sitting in a small puddle of wetness. (At this point, I began denying that I could be in labor). I went to the bathroom and saw blood tinged fluid. I was only a little excited, but still not ready to fall into labor patterns. My body and baby had other plans… A warm shower eased the contractions while I swayed to the rhythm of the rainfall outside. (I can’t help to mention that I love rainy days!) I was not ready to tell Chris that I was having “some” signs of labor. After an hour, through gritted teeth, I said I thought I maybe, might be in labor. Some coaxing from him allowed me to lye down to rest. After two seconds I jumped out of bed and said I could never be on my back again! Now, I could say that I was having contractions but not full-blown labor. Chris asked me to time them, but that took my focus off of working through to the other side of the peak. So, he sat and stared, reading my body language while his contraction app was handy to take the time. I ate a couple of eggs, folded a load of laundry, and got ready for my scheduled midwife appointment at 9:00 am. Chris was confused as to why I would not call my midwife to tell her I was in labor. What I was not communicating to him was that I still had to go to Target and hang pictures! I needed the “putsy-putsy” stage of labor to motivate me through those tasks. I was not in labor enough.

As I walked through the door of my midwife’s home, she could tell that I was in labor. I asked her to check me so I could see how much time I had before the baby would be here. We had already talked about having checks throughout labor, and she did not think that I needed to be, but would upon my request. I was 4 cm. Great! Now, I had plenty of time to go to Target and maybe lunch after. As soon as I did the q-tip swab to see if the fluid was amniotic fluid, I could be on my way to run errands. The test proved my water had broken… It is my belief that my brain miscommunicated with my body that my excitement was not to have the baby arrive in 30 minutes, but that I wanted to look at the clearance baby girl clothes for her arrival.

A 90 mph car ride home while I did not think that I could handle the being confined to one place was pretty intense. I believe I told Chris, “If you don’t start praying then my body is going to burst open.” At home, he started to prepare the birth bed until he was interrupted by my cry for “Help!” He joined my rhythm in the bathroom and held my body, silently whispering, “You’re really in labor and I believe transition.” My thoughts, “I guess that’s why I feel the need to push.” The midwife assistant arrived, confirmed me to be ready to push but please not until Carolyn came. I firmly positioned myself on all fours (the most natural feeling position) and buried my head in the white sheets, pretending that they were part of the storm clouds outside. I didn’t know how to push, I couldn’t do this, what was I thinking… “God, please guide my thoughts to seeing the face of Lillie-Mae.” Carolyn was now saying, “Danielle I need you to take a deep breath and push.” What relief! I could do this; I could push a baby out, without medication, and now without doubts. I could not wait for her to come! I gave it everything I had. No one told me when to push- I went with my instincts. After fifteen minutes, my instincts told me that I could not do what was needed for Lillie Mae to arrive. Later, I would hear that Carolyn had to pull Lillie Mae out from her head down to her hips. In a sense, she was “stuck”; my feeling was correct. Once I lied down and saw her sweet face, and she began nursing I felt complete peace.

The peace of having a healthy baby that was outside of me, ready to thrive in a new world, was unfortunately lacking harmony. I had many family members around, a supporting husband, and wise care providers ready to ease my transition into raising this baby girl. However, I was consumed with fear; what if my four year old son was neglected, why was she not latching, would my husband love her more than me, did she love me, what kind of world did I bring her into? “God, please take this because the fear is consuming me.” Breastfeeding as nothing like what I expected. I was constantly engorged, Lillie-Mae would not latch, she was hungry, lethargic, and losing weight. Wasn’t it my responsibility to make her a successful nursing baby? Carolyn and Rachel were a wealth of information and “tricks” to have Lillie-Mae latch. A break was needed in “teaching” her what should be natural to allow her to partake of the “liquid-gold” that would build her immune system. Spoon-feeding was introduced to her- what a relief to see that she was swallowing what she needed to. Once she started gaining weight from that method, we practiced latching. I just could not force my baby’s head to my breast while she was screaming out of frustration. We had both hit a wall. Chris and I prayed while Lillie-Mae laid in my lap, exhausted from a Mommy that was failing to provide what she needed. We asked God to give us hope, a sign that she could do this. A lack-luster “Amen,” and we tried again. She latched! Chris and I cried tears of joy. She could suck, swallow, and thrive! Research led me to a name for my “problem”: overactive letdown. I chose to introduce a nipple shield to Lillie-Mae. This slowed down my flow and gave her something to suck on without having to do much work on her part. I never thought that we would be without this artificial supplement. Five weeks later, while on a trip with another nursing mother, I had the inspiration to let Lillie-Mae try to latch again. She did it! Yet, it hurt and did not persuade me to let her latch without a shield ever again. But wait, where were my positive thoughts? Baby girl has been in this world for 5 short weeks; she needed her Momma to help her. Next feeding, and I promised never to go back to the shield and to give her the natural comfort that she needed despite the pain and uncertainties of how much milk she was receiving.

Breastfeeding issues did not help with the fear of not providing Lillie-Mae with all she needed to thrive and grow. Thankfully, I had already made the decision to encapsulate my placenta. My main reason being that it would give me the nutrients that were removed after delivery and to ward against post-partum depression. My husband called the pills my “happy pills”. We could both tell that I was on edge and gloomy when I had not taken my daily dose. Yes, it is unfortunately strange to digest of your placenta in any way after birth, but it proved to be helpful to me.

Through it all, I can say that my homebirth was 100% fulfilling for Lillie-Mae and me.  My expectations were thrown out the window, yet my research proved helpful on my journey. I could not have done it without support. Which leads me to advocate for this way to birth to all capable women. It takes strength, dedication, prayer, and God’s will to go against the grain. But what better outcome in the birth of your baby than knowing that you did what was best for you and your baby.

Home Sweet Home

Hiya, all!

It's been awhile since I have had a computer at my hands.

We officially moved last Thursday! Leading up to that day, I was too busy to sit down and blog. Now that we are in the house, I'm still busy, but more than that, I am internetless! We should have internet next week.

The house:

I am in LOVE with my house. Especially my kitchen!!!!!! It is my dream kitchen :-)

There are still many unfinished projects because we desperately wanted in for Christmas and opted to move in and finish while living there AND (main reason here) my husband has been working 70-100+ hour work weeks. Since we have moved home, I think he has slept there twice (I think) and been in the home when he wasn't sleeping, maybe 12 hours. I really don't know. That may be pushing it a bit. Maybe more like 6 hours. LOL. Seriously, after a year of unemployment we are in a big hole and desperately need out. That is why I don't mind him being gone SOOOO much. He is working his tail off to provide and get us in a better place financially. I am grateful he is willing to work so hard and tirelessly for us.

The biggest things that are work in progress that aggravate me the most--

*Not having a dryer. (A friend's husband offered to work on it, but we are gone out of town today and tomorrow) and then my FIL had a good idea for fixing it (under the house instead of attic) and Brent seems to think that will work. As long as he is home long enough, or home at all, to fix it, I may have one this weekend!

*My dining room light. Brent hasn't been able to get it wired correctly and it doesn't work. I LOVE light and I really can't stand not having a light over our table at night.

*My main doors not being installed. The ones we have a yucky and I am just ready for our new ones! PLUS-- I cannot finish the baseboards until they are installed and as soon as they are installed, I can start touching up paint. I'm going to wait until those or in or otherwise, I will be touching up paint twice.

*Our linen closet not being put together (the shelving). We have all the materials, I just need Brent to hang it all. Right now, I have bags of towels and linens (I want washed since they have been stored, but I'm waiting until I have a dryer)  in the floor of the linen closet and I stack clean, folded towels and linens on top of that. It just goes against my organized ways ;-)

*My closet! It was hung up with all my clothes hung in ROYGBIV order (you know, color coordinated, like the rainbow!) and then on Tuesday night it collapsed!!! We had bought these big, sturdy U-HAUL boxes that have the metal racks in them for "closets" while we lived with my MIL. Thankfully, Brent said we would keep them since we spent quite a bit of $$ on them. So, they were outside in our building and I got those and put them in our office and that is officially my walk-in closet :-) It really isn't that big of a deal since I do have somewhere to put my clothes. I was just ready to organize the shelf in my closet, so that just postpones another project.

*Our bathroom door. It is still messed up even though Brent thought he was fixing it a few days ago. Now it won't shut completely. So, if Brent is home and sleeping or Webb is sleeping in my bed, at night when I'm in there drying my hair or whatnot, the light shines through to the bed and you can hear what's going on pretty good. Definitely something we can live with for awhile, I just felt bad one night when Brent was trying to sleep and I was in there late.

*I want my pictures hung. I am super OCD about crooked and strategically placed pictures, so I really want Brent there to help me. Plus, I have lots of things that need anchors and all. I want him there because he is just as OCD as I am (just not about what hangs! LOL. So, it can be a stressful environment when I'm like, "No... to the left.... No... go up... Now down just a hair. Wait... Maybe we should put this there instead of that." He is just ready to hang them anywhere and be donea! But, he will make sure it is done right). Tape measure, level, and anything else  that might assist.

*The laundry room door not being up. Brent was waiting until we moved in b/c the appliances wouldn't fit through with the door up and we are going to be putting in an exterior door that leads to the backporch in a few months (that is why we didn't change the size, if and when the appliances need out, we will use the exterior door, not the interior door). That room is so disorganized (because the door is laying in there taking up a huge amount of space and I have this huge drying rack in there drying clothes. I also have the shop vac and the fans in boxes that need to be hung taking up space). In the back pantry is all the paint I am leaving inside until all the touch up paint is complete. But, once I am done with that project, I can use that back pantry for bulk things (Costco buys) instead of my floor space! So, this room is stressful to me!

*Fridge water hooked up. We drink ONLY water and a lot of it too. I hate tap water, so I am buying tons of gallons of water. I am ready to not have to do that.

Other than that, projects that still need to be completed that aren't driving me as crazy:

*The living room fan needs to be put in our room. The boys fan broke and needs to come down and be replaced and the correct living room fan needs to be hung.

* I want a new kitchen light :-/ We bought one, but I have decided I don't like it!

*The rest of the outlets need to be changed in the kitchen where the backsplash is from beige to white.

*The boys bath needs the hardware.

*The boys bathroom needs a mirror. I don't want a standard one. I will be buying one of Kirklands or someplace like that.

*All of my curtains hung up (living room and kitchen finished).

*The kitchen window trimmed.

*All the boxes that are empty and filled up my entire backporch that need to be broken down and hauled off!

*Fixing the mantle and hiding all our electronic cords.

*Cleaning off out our home gym space and organizing that so it can be utilized.

*Boys closet organized.

*Dishwasher hooked up.

*DUMPSTER REMOVED!!! Happening in 1 week and some days. Thank the LORD!


I think that about sums it up. I am sure I left out some projects.... but oh well :-)

In other news, my vans transmission is going out. I felt it the first time the day we were moving. Now, it does it everyday, multiple times. Yesterday, I pulled out of Bible Study onto a main road. I was pressing the gas and all the sudden, my car was only revving but not going accelerating. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw 2 cars flying up behind me. I let off the gas and pressed again which had been working when my van did that. This time, it didn't work. I kept trying and trying. My RPMs were soaring and my MPH were down to 20. Finally, I was able to get my car to go. I thought that my transmission was completely gone. We were headed to Costco. I called Brent and told him what had happened. He is at work and is trying to help me over the phone. He told me I needed to park it and not drive it until we had the money to fix it. He said to definitely not drive it to Costco because chances are we would have a tow bill on top of having to replace the transmission. Being vehicleless is not even a possibility. I have a mom due any day and this is my week to clean. Plus, I am a mom and have errands to run daily. Brent being gone so much means he is no help transportation wise and us sharing a vehicle isn't realistic. He leaves the house around 6:30am and leaves the station at the same time only to go to another station most days. That would just be too hard with the boys.

So, my van is parked at my in-laws, my husband is driving my FIL's truck (it has no backseat) and I am driving my husband's truck. Fun stuff. Hopefully we can just get the transmission rebuilt which means I would have my van back much sooner! Pray that we can and we can find someone affordable to fix it.

When all of this was happening yesterday, I felt discouraged and on the verge of tears. Then, I looked in my rearview mirror and saw my angels. They are so sweet, so innocent, such gifts. If they were all I had in the entire world, I would still have more good in my life than bad. It's Christmas time and everything in life seems to be going smooth and wonderful other than a few minor (in the big picture, they are minor) things. I know the devil is out to rob me of my joy and to try and create havoc in our life and more importantly to get my focus off my Lord and Savior JESUS during Christmas. I REFUSE to let that happen. We have been blessed and all of this did not take God by surprise. I could cry out, "WHY WHY WHY???" But the real question is, "Why not?" Bad things/unfortunate things happen everyday to people. I am not immune or exempt from them. So, why not me? Why not now? Thank the Lord my transmission waited to fail until Brent had a job. Otherwise, I seriously would be vehicleless for who knows how long. At least now, we are in the position to save and have this repaired. God is good and His timing is perfect. Yes, we would love for that money to go someplace else (debt, house projects, etc), but it is what it is. Getting upset about it and having a pity party will not change one single thing except my outlook and I want my outlook to be joyful and optimistic. It really is a choice. Sometimes, it is a choice that takes work and truly forcing myself to not go there, other times, it is a choice that comes easier. 

Today, we are in Ringgold. I am a doula and I have a mom due any day. Last night, she had a false alarm (she is in Chattanooga). I am scheduled to clean in Ringgold tomorrow anyways, so I am just staying the night again. No big deal. I am actually enjoyed having nothing in the world to do. I slept late and I am still in my pajamas. Nothing is on the schedule today (except possibly a birth!) and it is relaxing and enjoyable.

I pray you all find peace and happiness today and time to relax! Pictures of the new house coming soon.