Ever since I was pregnant with Dane, I would write letters to him. After he was born, I carried on the tradition. Every few months, I sit down and write a letter to Dane and Webb, documenting my feelings and love towards them at that time and some special things from that age.
I am hoping that one day, my sons can look back from the time they were born to the present time and get a better understanding of my love for them. If they ever doubt my love, they should have countless love letters from me to them. I hope and pray these will be things they cherish and hold dear. Not to sound depressing, but if something horrible should ever happen to me, my kids can still grow up knowing how much I loved them.
I am starting to take my handwritten letters and type them up and save them on the computer. I decided during that process, that some other moms out there might enjoy doing this for their children and that is what led me to share this on my blog.
I will share two letters per child. The first one will be the most recent letter after their birth and the second one will be the most recent letter I have done for them.
Thanks for stopping by and I hope that as readers, you too, get a better understanding of my deep love for my children.
June
18, 2008
Dane,
You are 13
days old and I am so in love with you. Everything about you is just so perfect.
I sit and stare at you for hours at a time. Your little hands and feet, your
growing belly, your adorable lips, and soft velvet hair. It is all so amazing
to me! I am so thankful for you and I am so glad we had you. Even though you
were not planned, you WERE NOT an accident. I don’t ever want you to think
that. You are a miracle and a dream come true. I have wanted to be a mommy my
entire life and you made that desire happen for me. You are so special.
Mommy
labored for 32 long hours to bring you into the world and it was so worth it.
I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. It was the best day of my entire life and
by far, the most exciting day. Towards the end of my labor, when I was pushing,
they lost your heartbeat because you were under my pubic bone. They didn’t know
if that was the case or not. Luckily, I was unaware of any of that… I was too
intent on getting you out. However, your daddy, your Gammie, and the midwives
were aware of it and frightened. After you were born and placed on my chest, I
looked up at your daddy and he was crying. Dane, your daddy didn’t think you
were alive and he was so scared. He asked if you were ok and the midwives
assured him they could feel your heartbeat and they had him feel also. That is
something that once I found out, I will never forget. All of your cooing and
fussing are such precious sounds to me, even your occasional crying is music to
my ears. I am thankful for your health, heartbeat, and noises. God is so good
and I thank Him every day for you! I promise to do my best as a mommy. I know I
will make mistakes, but just know I am trying my best. We will slowly learn
this thing together. I love you so much and so does your daddy. He amazes me
with you. Dane, your daddy is so in love with you. I love watching him with you
and listening to the sweet things he whispers to you. You are the light of his
life and the 2 of you are going to have lots and lots of fun together through
the years. Mommy and daddy love each other too. No matter what happens in life,
remember that. Your daddy is the love of my life. We have so much fun together
and God is working on our relationship, making it stronger and making us
stronger together—you are helping us also.
Psalm 127:3
says, “Children are a gift from the Lord. Babies are a reward.” Dane if there
is anything I want for you in life it is for you to give your life to the Lord.
I pray that as your grow I do a good job of teaching you about Jesus and
educating you on the Bible. Jesus died for you, Dane.
Accept Him as your
personal Savior at a young age and grow up loving Him and serving Him. He will
direct all your paths and He is the only person who will never let you down. I
love you more than you’ll ever know. Don’t grow up too fast… Mommy loves
holding you and you won’t let me much longer.
Love,
Mommy
September 7, 2010
Webb,
Welcome to
the world, Webb! You are 6 days old and I am so completely in love with you. I
remember my labor and your birth so vividly and I find myself thinking back to
it numerous times in the day. Your birth was so beautiful, so peaceful, and so
perfect. The labor was short and I well rested and well prepared. I remember so
well pushing you out. In the middle of my pushing I reached down and felt your
little head. Excitement pulsed through me because I knew I was SO close to meeting
my sweet baby. When daddy caught you and placed you on my chest, pure raw love
overflowed from me. My precious baby BOY was finally here, healthy and
beautiful. I was so thankful for you, praising God that it went smoothly, you
were here, and you were perfect. I looked down into your sweet face and
couldn’t understand how it was possible to love you with the same amount and
same type of love as I have for your big brother. How it works, I’ll never
understand. You are a wonderful baby with an exceptional big brother. I cannot
wait to watch the two of you grow up together.
Each day, I
look into your beautiful face and I thank God for you. You are a miracle and a
dream come true. I love your every feature, your downy skin, your bony legs,
arms, and bum bum. I love your long feet, toes, hands, and fingers. I love your
little grunts and coos. I love your eyes- even the one with the little blood
shot dot. I love how you look like Dane. I love how good you sleep and nurse. I
could go on and on. I could also sit and hold you all day and sometimes, I do.
I cannot
wait to see what your personality is like, what your talents and hobbies will
be. I can’t wait to hear you pray to God like your big brother. I can’t wait to
see all the opportunities that will come your way and what you will do with
them. But then again, I want to freeze the hands of time and keep you right
where you are.
I prayed for
you daily while I was pregnant and now that you are here, I continue to cover
you in prayer. I pray for many many things concerning you, your life, and your
safety. One of my biggest and deepest prayers is that I do a good job of
teaching you about God, His Son, Jesus, and the gift of salvation He presents
to all. My prayer, Webb, is that you will learn to trust and love Jesus at a
young age and that early in life, you will give your heart to Him so you have a
security of a home in Heaven.
My sweet boy, the day you were born, I said a
prayer, thanking God for the gift of you. You are ultimately His and He has
loaned you to me. I know He loves you far greater than I can fathom. I trust
Him with you and I know that He will always take care of you.
I am so
excited to be your mommy. I look forward to watching you grow and seeing all
your wonderful milestones. Don’t grow up too fast though, my precious Webb.
All My Love,
Mommy
Mommy
January 1, 2013
Dane,
We
are starting a new year and you have reminded me many times that this year, you
will turn 5. Really? How did we get to 5 this quickly? It just can’t be so.
You, my sweet boy, made my dream of becoming a mother real and I love you for
it. You are the most special, precious 4 year old I know and I love you with
all my heart.
I
am amazed at how fast you have grown. You are officially big in my book. You
dress yourself, get snacks by yourself, bathe yourself, brush your own teeth,
buckle your own carseat, cut your own food with a knife, and so much more. I
stand back and watch you sometimes with a bittersweet feeling coursing through
me. I am so proud of you and this is what every mother dreams of--- a healthy
child who develops at the right time and can do what they are supposed to do,
yet, at the same time, it feels like yesterday that I found out I was expecting
you. The fear I felt when I heard the news is still so real. I wasn’t cut out
to be a mother?!?! Yet, I had always dreamed of being a mom. The moment I laid
eyes on you, God humbled me as I realized God had entrusted you to me, and you
deserved SO much better than me. I have spent every day since then trying my
best to become all you (and Webb) deserve. I fail daily, but I have found, you
and Webb are quick to forgive when I come to you and apologize.
You
are into camo right now. You wear camo underwear, camo socks, camo pants, camo
belt, camo shirt, camo jacket, camo toboggan, and camo boots. Each and every
day, it is the same attire. It really is humorous to me. On Sundays, I let you
wear camo pants and camo boots, but I make you wear a nice button down shirt.
We are good at compromising after 4 years of working together. For Christmas,
you asked for hunting thing and hunting clothes. I never expected my 4 year old
to ask for more clothes than he did toys! LOL.
I
love to watch you and Webb when you don’t realize I am. You are so sweet with
him and like to help him understand things. You also like to pester the crap
out of him, but I’m pretty sure that comes with the territory of brothers (or
siblings in general). I spanked Webb this afternoon for disobeying and you
walked up behind me and spanked me with an angry look on your face. I had to
turn so you wouldn’t see the pride on my face. I was proud. That is what you
are supposed to do—look out for your little brother, however, spanking me is
unacceptable! LOL.
This
past week, we were snuggled up on the couch. I said, “Dane, me and you should
talk about our day”, then I asked what your favorite part of the day was. You
said, “Hmmmmm” and looked away for a long time. Then you turned to me and said,
“Right now. Right here, with you, mom.” You melted my heart. I never want to
forget that.
You
now have responsibilities in the house and you take them very seriously. I am
so proud of the sweet, loving boy you are. I will thank God all of my days for
interrupting my life and blessing me with YOU!
As
we start a new year, I am praying for God to keep a hedge of protection around
you. Not just physically, but also mentally. This is a crazy world we live in
and it is getting crazier by the day. My prayer is that daddy and I do the
right job sheltering you from what you need to be sheltered from and exposing
you to what you need to be exposed to. I pray that you stay innocent as long as
possible. I pray that you continue to have a heart for others, especially your
brother. I pray that your love for Jesus grows. More than anything, I pray that
you grasp what Jesus Christ did for you and you believe with all your heart
that He died for you. I pray that you repent of your sins and ask Him into your
heart at an early age.
I
love you, my precious angel boy and I am so glad I am your mommy. Always remember,
my favorite part of every day is when I am with you.
Mommy
November 8, 2012
Dear Webb,
You are 2 years old now and what a joy you are to this
family. We have discovered you LOVE to make people laugh. If you get a laugh
from someone, you will keep doing whatever made them laugh over and over. You
make us laugh all the time. Many, many times, when I am getting onto you, I
cannot because you make me laugh. Anytime I reprimand you, you laugh at me. You
are just so cute, I can’t help but laugh! You are so silly, sweet, and loving.
You love Dane more than anyone in this world! You do anything he asks of you
without a fight (most of the time!). I spend many days wondering what we would
do without you in our family, which means I spend many days thanking God for
blessing us with you. You and Dane are best buds. I LOVE to watch the two of
you together. I get tears as I see you out in the yard, playing together
without a care in the world. I utter quick prayers like, “Lord, let them be
close always. Help them love one another. Don’t let years make them distant,
allow the years to make them closer” and more.
We are living at Nana and Papa’s house as we renovate our
new house, Pappy’s old house. Today, I came out of the bathroom and you were on
a toy four-wheeler (made for toys but you ALWAYS sit on it and roll around.
LOL) on the first step of Nana’s 2nd level. You were at a downward
slope headed down the stairs on this. I caught you just in time and when I
caught you, you said, “Watch mommy! COOL!!!!” You have no fear!!! I especially
get glimpses of your fearlessness if you see Dane do something brave OR if Dane
tells you to do something brave. You won’t even think twice before you attempt
whatever that is. You watched Dane slide down a slide backwards and upside down
ONE time before you went up and did the same thing!
You love trains (or “choo choo trains” as you call them).
You love books, clothes, toys, railroad tracks, and more. You are constantly
spotting choo choo trains and screaming out, “CHOO CHOO, MOMMA!!!” Dane never
liked choo choos so this is new for us. You genuinely love them though.
We were at the Library yesterday and it was quiet except
for the soft voice of the story teller. Outside we heard an ambulance drive by.
You shrieked at the top of your lungs, “DADDY!!!! MOMMY!!! DADDY DRIVE THAT!!!!
DADDY DRIVE THAT ‘AMBANCE’!!!!” It was so cute. Anytime we see ambulances or fire
trucks or hear them, you go crazy screaming that daddy rides that.
My prayer for you sweet boy is that you understand at an
early age about Jesus and what He did for you. I pray that mommy and daddy do a
good job of raising you and teaching you about our King. I pray you have a
childlike faith and grasp your need for a Savior at a young age.
We love you so much, Webb and we thank God for placing
you in our family at just the right time. I cannot wait to see more of your
personality emerge through the years and watch you and Dane grow closer and
closer. You are super special to all of us. I love you, Webb Webb.
Mommy
No comments:
Post a Comment