Happy New Year

I cannot believe today starts 2013! That has to be the fastest year in the history of years!

I know part of that is because I am a mom and I stand amazed at how fast time flies with my children. Just today, I looked at Dane and saw that he had completely dressed himself-- camo underwear and socks, blue jeans, camo belt (done the correct way), camo shirt, camo jacket, and camo boots and I was amazed that my baby can handle getting dressed, that well, all by himself.

Did you make any resolutions for the new year? I always think of ways I would like to better myself. This year here is a list of mine:

1) Get up in enough time each morning that spending time with the Lord is doable and I don't feel rushed. I want to feel like I have all the time in the world to be still and hear from the Lord and finish my Bible study for the day.

2) To be a more patient mom. I find that it is so easy to get annoyed or frustrated. What am I teaching my children when I react this way? Impatience, of course. I want to teach them patience.

3) To better love my husband and children the way they each need to be loved. Seriously though, we do not know my husband's love language. We even took an 8 week class at church and during that time, we couldn't figure it out. He swears it is "Receiving" which is definitely not a language of love! LOL. My love language is gifts, so I think he has just found a way to get more gifts!!! I think it is a close tie between acts of service and quality time. I also feel loved with acts of service (a close 2nd for me) and so it is easy for me to love him that way. Dane's is definitely touch and Webb is too young to be determined. My goal is to show all the languages of love to each of them and to shower them with love in their language.

4) To join the church we have been visiting. We have filled out the papers to join, but I will only join with my husband there with me and him awake. LOL. The last Sunday he was there (not working), he had just gotten off work and he was exhausted. I want to wait and have him awake and in a "talkative mood". This Sunday, he works, so who knows when it will happen. Not only do I want to join, I want to get involved. The boys will start AWANA in January, Brent and I will start a Discipleship Class in January, and we had the sweetest older couple ever!! offer to Disciple us one on one in Feb. or March and we both want to do that. I just want to be used how God wants me to be used other than that.

5) To find joy in the simplicity of life. I do not want to be consumed with materialism. I want to be satisfied with what I have and find contentment in what we have. I think it is so easy to "want want want" and I want to focus on teaching my boys contentment.

6) To get organized and start a very (VERY) low key homeschool in August. I need to get my butt in gear because I want to have it all planned and be prepared. In the state of GA, we do not turn anything in until the child is 6, so technically, I have another year. Dane LOVES to learn though and so I would like to use this year to get us both accustomed to a school schedule. I also want to get involved in the homeschool community here because there is a huge one.

7) To teach my boys more about Jesus, prayer, values, manners, and responsibilities (more on this later). Dane is already learning and comprehending so much about Jesus and Heaven. Our church does an amazing job of reiterating what we teach at home. More importantly, I want their childlike faith to play out. I am praying fervently for my children to get saved. I believe the Lord could come back at any time and if it is not while they are still at a young age that has not reached accountability, and they are old enough to understand, I do not want my children to be left behind. At that point and time, they don't get another chance. I could never ever live with myself if I did not take my God-given responsibility and teach my children about Jesus and how to get to Heaven. That would be like me choosing to send my children to hell. I want to look around me in Heaven and see my entire family, but especially, most definitely, my babies. I am trying very hard to get my boys to pray on a regular basis at any time of the day. If we get  asked to pray for something, I ask my boys to pray with me about it and we will pray right there. Generally, I will ask them to say a sentence to God about that prayer request. They both have prayers they have learned in Bible Study and at each meal they both HAVE to say their prayer. I love it! I just want them to realize we pray more than over a meal and we can pray any time we feel led. We pray many times while driving and I remind them we don't have to close our eyes to talk to God. I am also working on values and manners. We recently taught Dane the "Golden Rule" and so I use that a lot in disciplining. I also use scripture and let Dane know that when he sins, he doesn't just make mommy and daddy sad, he makes Jesus sad. I make him apologize to us all. With the manners, I am really working on instilling "mam" and "sir". Words I swore I would never make my children say. I am finding though that children sound so well-mannered and RESPECTFUL when they use these phrases. Along with things like, "excuse me", "thank you", "no thank you", "I'm sorry", etc. I am also making the boys tell me "thank you for my breakfast (lunch, dinner, etc). It was good." I know one day that will come natural and their wives will thank me ;-) along with other adults who work hard to cook for others. One thing children lack the most of these days is respect. Especially respect for their elders. I want my children to respect God, me, authority, and their elders. It is that simple. As for the responsibilities, I mentioned last post I am practically a single mother these days. I realized really quick that I was going to need help and there is no reason Dane and Webb can't be my helpers! They actually love it and I praise them and reward them. It works for us!

8) I have said it before and not done it and here I am saying it again. I want to memorize scripture. I want to know the Bible and have references to back me up or to help me through.

9) I want to take more time to just relax and not be so OCD about my house. I want to take the kids to the park, have a movie day, have picnics, and play games. I want them to remember me being with them and helping to make life fun!

10) I want to be a light. I have never felt such a burden to witness to my lost family and friends. Like I said before, I believe this could be the year Jesus comes back. It is close folks. I am learning things and seeing things for the first time. I finally understand that those who have heard the name of Jesus and have had the opportunity presented to them before to get saved and don't take it, after the rapture, they don't get any more chances. I have many lost family members and friends. What am I doing by not witnessing my heart out? Trying to keep them from being mad at me? Seriously?? I am ashamed to say that yes, I am afraid for them to get upset with me. With a couple family members, we have had the discussion numerous times and they don't want to hear it. They do not believe a loving God would ever send people to hell and they don't even know if there is a "heaven". They don't want to see Bible references, they don't want to talk about it. They believe what they believe and I am not going to change that. My burden is that the rapture could happen right this second and there are precious lives that will be left here, that I don't get to spend eternity with. That will burn forever and ever and ever in hell, separated from God forever and the saddest part is, when that happens, oh, they'll believe. They will see for themselves that Jesus Christ is Lord and there is a REAL heaven and a REAL hell and more than anything in the world they will want another chance to choose JESUS, but... it will be too late. How many of them will also have their children by their side. Precious, precious babies that could have heard about Jesus from me?!! As you can see, I am burdened. Please pray that I will take advantage of every opportunity presented to me to spread the news of Jesus.


I mentioned the responsibilities earlier. We started this last month and it worked wonderfully. I will share the chart that we leave on the fridge, the individual responsibilities, and the rewards.

Dane's responsibilities are to take his plate to the garbage after he eats, dump the food, and put the plate either in the sink or dishwasher, pick up his toys at the end of each day, and to feed and water Rosie (the dog) twice a day. He does all of this each day and he is 4. He also does it wonderfully.

Webb has the same responsibilities except he doesn't feed the dog, he takes all our clothes to the laundry room at the end of the day. He is 2 and he does a wonderful job with this.

They can earn up to 3 stars a day. If, at the end of the week, they have 21 stars, they receive $1.00. If they have less than 21 stars, they receive $0.50. So, I'm out, at most, $8.00 a month in return for instilling in them some work ethic and reward for hard work.

What do they do with that money you might ask?

The first part of every thing they makes, goes in the their Give jar. This is God's money and they take it to church and tithe. We do a little more for the boys than the 10% God commands us to. They give $1.00 to God each month regardless of what they make. Then, they put money in their save jar (they will generally put $2.00 here). It is never to early to start saving (I'm thinking car and college fund. LOL I can dream!). The last jar they have is spending. They can save up and go spend their own money on something they like. I like this because it teaches them the value of a dollar and more importantly, it instills in them who the money belongs to. My parents did a GREAT job of teaching me to tithe and Brent's parents did also. That makes tithing something we don't ever NOT do. It is 2nd nature to tithe 10% off our first earnings. We don't give God what we have left or worse, give God nothing. For us, we tithe and then we use the money we have left for bills and whatnot. I can say though, there have been times it was hard to write that check out. I wondered (especially during unemployment) how we would survive if I gave God that much. However, our parents instilled in us, we didn't have a choice. In all honestly, I have seen God provide for a bill the minute after I tithed all that was left in my account. He is faithful and one thing I have learned is, He doesn't provide so I will have faith and tithe. He provides after I have put my faith in action to show Himself faithful. He is just awesome and after what I have seen Him do and the ways I have seen Him provide, I could never go a week without tithing. I want my boys to be the same way.

I am thankful for the help the boys are proving to be to me. They are amazing little people and I am honored to be their mommy!

Today, we have no big plans. We have been lazy all day and we will continue being lazy. I have not turned on cartoons for the day and I plan on leaving them off today. The boys have played soooooo well together. We cooked our favorite banana bread this morning (It is to DIE for!!) and it makes 2 loaves. You all know my love of dessert and this is like a dessert IMO. So, I am taking a loaf to the station so the guys can have some healthy New Year's dessert (It really is as healthy as a banana bread can get. I use pure ingredients). That way, I don't eat 2 loaves today! LOL.

I replace the pecans with pure, dark chocolate chips because... well, why not???

This evening we will go to my in-laws for beans, greens, cornbread, and meatloaf when Brent gets off at 7pm (hopefully. He might have to stay for 24 though and we will go without him). I did the honors of buying hog jowl to cook. Yummy!! My MIL is thrilled. LOL.

I hope you all have a healthy, happy, wonderful 2013! Make the decision to make this the best year yet!

Our New Normal

Good Evening!

It feels so nice to be sitting at my computer desk and on MY computer. We have lived in the house for about a month now (I think. I seriously have no idea when we moved in!) and internet JUST started working tonight. URG. It has been a constant battle with AT&T. Hopefully, from this point forward, we will have no complaints!

My boys are tucked into bed and sleeping. I am LOVING this new schedule I have them on. I officially have them on a wonderful schedule!!!!!! I start the dinner thing around 4pm, prepping it, getting dishes ready, table cleared off, kitchen ready for the cooking, etc. and dinner is generally served between 5:00-5:30pm. After dinner, we clean up and the boy take their own plates to the garbage can, dump their food and put their plates and silverware in the dishwasher. Then, I scoot them out of the kitchen while I finish cleaning up/packing Brent his lunchbox if he is home and getting ready to leave. We start bath rituals around 6:15-6:20pm. Once out of the shower, we get ready for bed and read some of a chapter book. We actually just finished Little House in the Big Woods tonight and Dane is itching to get Farmer Boy-- the next book in the series.

The book took us a few months to finish and it is amazing at the transformation during that time of Dane and Webb's listening skills. When we started it, I just knew I was ready to get them to sit still and listen, without tons of pictures, and for them to make pictures in their minds. Dane COULD NOT handle that (or Webb, but I never expected that). He jumped and horsed around while I read out loud to myself. I stuck with it telling myself this was the best way for him to adapt and it really was. Before long, he was so interested in Pa and when he would hunt again and how he hunted, what he hunted, etc. The sisters and when they would go to town. How Ma would get water and how did she ever get her cow? He would sit with a distant look in his eyes and question everything. I tried to be patient between mere words as I answered a million questions (that I DID NOT know the answers to) because I realized I had accomplished what I set out to do!

After book, it is generally 7:00pm-7:15pm. Sometimes, they grab a quick snack (almonds, pecans, pretzels in mustard, banana, apple, etc) and then we  brush teeth and hit the sack. We are generally in the bed by 7:30pm. Although Webb never lasts all night, I start him off in bed with Dane. I nurse him until he falls asleep and Dane is generally always asleep by then, If he is not, I lay there until he is asleep. For the most part, they are both sleeping by 8pm.

Our schedules were so out of whack when we moved in and I was literally adjusting to being a single mom. I went from a husband who was unemployed and for the most part, home more often than not, to a husband who is gone 2-4 days straight. I will not act like I handled it well. I did not. I was a crying mess-- emotional, angry, lonely, sad... and the worst thing was, I took it out on my husband and kids. Every time Brent got called in or text to say he wouldn't be coming home, I would burst into tears. I think the worst thing was, it was hard on the kids too. We all missed Daddy. They were extra fussy and here I was, playing single momma and trying to get the house in order and everything perfect for Christmas.I was so stressed!!! During all of this, the kids went to bed late, got up early or late, I never knew and I NEVER had peace and quiet or time to myself. I knew something had to give in order for me to make it. That is when I got on a strict schedule. I really and truly knew Brent was doing what he felt was best and he was providing for his family-- something he really struggled with during unemployment. He was busting his butt to provide for us and here I was putting him through a guilt trip for it and taking everything out on the kids. I had a melt down with Brent and was sobbing when I told him I sucked at being a wife and mom and maybe I wasn't cut out for this single momma stuff. He was patient and kind and told me I didn't suck and it would just take time.He told me to start praying for a full-time position so we could see him more. On any given week, Brent will work 100+ hours. The week of Christmas, he worked 144 hours. If he was full time, he would work 24 on, 48 off. It would be a pay cut, but we would have daddy home and that is most important. When he originally got hired, he was told it would/could take up to a year to get full-time. Things have happened though and there is a full time position open in January.He is obviously low man on the totem pole with others who are part-time and been there longer who want it. We are praying he might get that position though and trusting that if it is God's plan, he'll be starting full time in a few days. On top of all of that, he starts back to school in Jan for his paramedic. I am so proud of him. He never settles for anything but the best. As I started praying for a full time position for Brent, God put it on my heart to start praying about my attitude. I prayed and literally, in about 2 weeks time of us moving in/him working all these CRAZY amounts of hours, God has changed my heart. I really think we all had to adjust. Me, the boys, and even Brent. Now, I don't expect him home. It comes with the territory and he is doing what he has to. He has a better chance of getting a full time position if he never turns down a shift. He is working his tail off in hopes of getting full time much quicker than expected. I have completely adjusted to being mommy and daddy and although the days and nights are tough and I would love to have him here, it just makes when he is home that much sweeter.

Now we get up by 7am to get ready for the gym and we have a nice routine going on.

How was everyone's Christmas? Ours was PERFECT!!! The best yet. Brent only had Christmas Eve off and he came home that morning at 7am. Santa had to come a day early to accommodate, but it was awesome. The boys are both at such fun ages. They were so excited about all of their gifts. It was also awesome to celebrate Christmas with my brother and sister-in-law from Texas. I haven't celebrated with my brother in at least 10 years and never with my nieces and nephew. It was sooooooo great to be all together.

I must give a huge shout out to the grandparents this year! Last year, every single big gift that toys stores were selling, my children got. I mean, seriously. It was unbelievable. This year, they held back and got less toys and more clothes (Really, mommy gifts there) and it was so much less stressful. Too much stuff is just overwhelming. They are perfectly content with 3 or 4 toys each. We are blessed with family who loves us and spoils us though, so I hope this doesn't come across as a complaint. LOL.

We are anticipating 2013 with excitement. I am so happy and content with where God has led us. I NEVER dreamed we would end 2012 where we are when we started the year. God is faithful and His ways are not ours. I am so thankful for each thing that 2012 brought us--- the good, the bad, and the ugly. It was a year of trials, hurts, tests, amazement, scares, laughter, tears, heartbreaks, happiness, and JOY-- always JOY. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. I learned more than I ever thought possible for a years time. God chiseled at me and changed me. 2013--- I am ready to rock this and see what awaits us. I know it will all be good-- my life is in my Father's Hands!

Until next time...

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

I don't know about you guys, but I am super duper excited for Christmas this year. The boys are both at fun ages and they both have interests and things they want from Santa and believe with all their heart and soul he will bring (and he is!).

Christmas is a time to reflect on the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We make sure to center our celebrating around Him, His birth, and His presence in our life. If you ask the boys why we celebrate Christmas, they both say, "IT'S BECAUSE OF JESUS!!!" I love that. I realize as a mom how important it is for me to keep my boys focused on Christ. I can't get so consumed in the hussle and bussle, gifts, and running to and fro that I forget to take the time to sit with my boys and talk about a nativity scene. Tell the Christmas story and get excited about what took place that night, letting the boys "fill in the blank" of the story as we go. Remind them (and me) of what this special and magical season is truly about.

My prayer is that in your home, you too understand and grasp the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus is the REASON for the season.

Don't get me wrong... we enjoy all the fun and magic of Christmas too. We will miss our Elf, Darla, when she is gone, we the Red-sing Rudolph Nosed Raindeer 874 times a day, and we discuss "Christmas magic" and how Santa goes all over in one night and can fly.



That is just a little on my mind tonight. I'll leave you with a guest blogger post. A friend of mine Danielle, from A Mom's Best Guess, is sharing her beautiful home birth story for all of you. Please take the time to read. It is an amazing story:




The choice to birth at home was decided upon through many prayers, research, and finding the perfect midwife.  My mind was set while dating my husband and knowing that I wanted to have children with him. I approached him with the option to birth in our home to which he stated, “Isn’t that illegal?” I loaded him down with facts, videos, personal accounts, and scare tactics(!!!) against hospital birth, took a deep breath then told him to seek what God wanted for our family. Against my expectations, Chris desired birth to be as I had for our future children.

Fast forward to the weeks before our wedding, and you would hear me “joking” that I would become pregnant on our honeymoon. This did not happen, but I did get a visit from Aunt Flo that week! To me, this was good news; my body was preparing itself to conceive. A week later, I just knew I was pregnant. I am uncertain if it was more of a physical or emotional feeling, but I knew I was pregnant. I did not count down the days to when I could take an early pregnancy test. But one evening, after a date night, Chris brought it to my attention that we could take a test to know for sure! Two tests later, and he was convinced.

I quickly contacted the only person I knew that had a home birth, Abby. Her birth story of her second son in water at home gripped my heart and set the stage for the birth of our baby. I saw the midwife she used, and before the end of the meeting, Chris and I knew (with one look and a wink between us) that Carolyn would be an excellent completion to our dream birth.

The one-hour visits to Carolyn monthly then weekly completely fulfilled my questions and fears. She was a mentor, counselor, and guiding voice in these unchartered waters. Every visit, she would check my weight and say “That’s great!” blood pressure “Perfect!”  More than once I would ask if that was too much weight or too high of a blood pressure; her answer reminded me that pregnancies do not fit into a box. So what if my fundal height was 2 cm more than the norm or I hadn’t gained but one pound or ten in a couple of weeks. Carolyn saw the big picture; she was concerned with my health as well as the baby’s, and I trusted her.

A few weeks before my 40 week due date, Braxton hicks contractions started. I was so excited to start feeling signs of approaching labor! I knew the baby could come the next day or two weeks later. I continued to see a chiropractor and attend yoga sessions. I did not have discomfort throughout the pregnancy even up to this point; I attribute this to consistent chiropractic care. Yoga during pregnancy was relaxing, an escape to feel my body and it’s changes. 

The morning of August 9, 2012 I woke up at 5:45 sensing that something was about to take place. After sitting up in bed, I felt that I was sitting in a small puddle of wetness. (At this point, I began denying that I could be in labor). I went to the bathroom and saw blood tinged fluid. I was only a little excited, but still not ready to fall into labor patterns. My body and baby had other plans… A warm shower eased the contractions while I swayed to the rhythm of the rainfall outside. (I can’t help to mention that I love rainy days!) I was not ready to tell Chris that I was having “some” signs of labor. After an hour, through gritted teeth, I said I thought I maybe, might be in labor. Some coaxing from him allowed me to lye down to rest. After two seconds I jumped out of bed and said I could never be on my back again! Now, I could say that I was having contractions but not full-blown labor. Chris asked me to time them, but that took my focus off of working through to the other side of the peak. So, he sat and stared, reading my body language while his contraction app was handy to take the time. I ate a couple of eggs, folded a load of laundry, and got ready for my scheduled midwife appointment at 9:00 am. Chris was confused as to why I would not call my midwife to tell her I was in labor. What I was not communicating to him was that I still had to go to Target and hang pictures! I needed the “putsy-putsy” stage of labor to motivate me through those tasks. I was not in labor enough.

As I walked through the door of my midwife’s home, she could tell that I was in labor. I asked her to check me so I could see how much time I had before the baby would be here. We had already talked about having checks throughout labor, and she did not think that I needed to be, but would upon my request. I was 4 cm. Great! Now, I had plenty of time to go to Target and maybe lunch after. As soon as I did the q-tip swab to see if the fluid was amniotic fluid, I could be on my way to run errands. The test proved my water had broken… It is my belief that my brain miscommunicated with my body that my excitement was not to have the baby arrive in 30 minutes, but that I wanted to look at the clearance baby girl clothes for her arrival.

A 90 mph car ride home while I did not think that I could handle the being confined to one place was pretty intense. I believe I told Chris, “If you don’t start praying then my body is going to burst open.” At home, he started to prepare the birth bed until he was interrupted by my cry for “Help!” He joined my rhythm in the bathroom and held my body, silently whispering, “You’re really in labor and I believe transition.” My thoughts, “I guess that’s why I feel the need to push.” The midwife assistant arrived, confirmed me to be ready to push but please not until Carolyn came. I firmly positioned myself on all fours (the most natural feeling position) and buried my head in the white sheets, pretending that they were part of the storm clouds outside. I didn’t know how to push, I couldn’t do this, what was I thinking… “God, please guide my thoughts to seeing the face of Lillie-Mae.” Carolyn was now saying, “Danielle I need you to take a deep breath and push.” What relief! I could do this; I could push a baby out, without medication, and now without doubts. I could not wait for her to come! I gave it everything I had. No one told me when to push- I went with my instincts. After fifteen minutes, my instincts told me that I could not do what was needed for Lillie Mae to arrive. Later, I would hear that Carolyn had to pull Lillie Mae out from her head down to her hips. In a sense, she was “stuck”; my feeling was correct. Once I lied down and saw her sweet face, and she began nursing I felt complete peace.

The peace of having a healthy baby that was outside of me, ready to thrive in a new world, was unfortunately lacking harmony. I had many family members around, a supporting husband, and wise care providers ready to ease my transition into raising this baby girl. However, I was consumed with fear; what if my four year old son was neglected, why was she not latching, would my husband love her more than me, did she love me, what kind of world did I bring her into? “God, please take this because the fear is consuming me.” Breastfeeding as nothing like what I expected. I was constantly engorged, Lillie-Mae would not latch, she was hungry, lethargic, and losing weight. Wasn’t it my responsibility to make her a successful nursing baby? Carolyn and Rachel were a wealth of information and “tricks” to have Lillie-Mae latch. A break was needed in “teaching” her what should be natural to allow her to partake of the “liquid-gold” that would build her immune system. Spoon-feeding was introduced to her- what a relief to see that she was swallowing what she needed to. Once she started gaining weight from that method, we practiced latching. I just could not force my baby’s head to my breast while she was screaming out of frustration. We had both hit a wall. Chris and I prayed while Lillie-Mae laid in my lap, exhausted from a Mommy that was failing to provide what she needed. We asked God to give us hope, a sign that she could do this. A lack-luster “Amen,” and we tried again. She latched! Chris and I cried tears of joy. She could suck, swallow, and thrive! Research led me to a name for my “problem”: overactive letdown. I chose to introduce a nipple shield to Lillie-Mae. This slowed down my flow and gave her something to suck on without having to do much work on her part. I never thought that we would be without this artificial supplement. Five weeks later, while on a trip with another nursing mother, I had the inspiration to let Lillie-Mae try to latch again. She did it! Yet, it hurt and did not persuade me to let her latch without a shield ever again. But wait, where were my positive thoughts? Baby girl has been in this world for 5 short weeks; she needed her Momma to help her. Next feeding, and I promised never to go back to the shield and to give her the natural comfort that she needed despite the pain and uncertainties of how much milk she was receiving.

Breastfeeding issues did not help with the fear of not providing Lillie-Mae with all she needed to thrive and grow. Thankfully, I had already made the decision to encapsulate my placenta. My main reason being that it would give me the nutrients that were removed after delivery and to ward against post-partum depression. My husband called the pills my “happy pills”. We could both tell that I was on edge and gloomy when I had not taken my daily dose. Yes, it is unfortunately strange to digest of your placenta in any way after birth, but it proved to be helpful to me.

Through it all, I can say that my homebirth was 100% fulfilling for Lillie-Mae and me.  My expectations were thrown out the window, yet my research proved helpful on my journey. I could not have done it without support. Which leads me to advocate for this way to birth to all capable women. It takes strength, dedication, prayer, and God’s will to go against the grain. But what better outcome in the birth of your baby than knowing that you did what was best for you and your baby.

Home Sweet Home

Hiya, all!

It's been awhile since I have had a computer at my hands.

We officially moved last Thursday! Leading up to that day, I was too busy to sit down and blog. Now that we are in the house, I'm still busy, but more than that, I am internetless! We should have internet next week.

The house:

I am in LOVE with my house. Especially my kitchen!!!!!! It is my dream kitchen :-)

There are still many unfinished projects because we desperately wanted in for Christmas and opted to move in and finish while living there AND (main reason here) my husband has been working 70-100+ hour work weeks. Since we have moved home, I think he has slept there twice (I think) and been in the home when he wasn't sleeping, maybe 12 hours. I really don't know. That may be pushing it a bit. Maybe more like 6 hours. LOL. Seriously, after a year of unemployment we are in a big hole and desperately need out. That is why I don't mind him being gone SOOOO much. He is working his tail off to provide and get us in a better place financially. I am grateful he is willing to work so hard and tirelessly for us.

The biggest things that are work in progress that aggravate me the most--

*Not having a dryer. (A friend's husband offered to work on it, but we are gone out of town today and tomorrow) and then my FIL had a good idea for fixing it (under the house instead of attic) and Brent seems to think that will work. As long as he is home long enough, or home at all, to fix it, I may have one this weekend!

*My dining room light. Brent hasn't been able to get it wired correctly and it doesn't work. I LOVE light and I really can't stand not having a light over our table at night.

*My main doors not being installed. The ones we have a yucky and I am just ready for our new ones! PLUS-- I cannot finish the baseboards until they are installed and as soon as they are installed, I can start touching up paint. I'm going to wait until those or in or otherwise, I will be touching up paint twice.

*Our linen closet not being put together (the shelving). We have all the materials, I just need Brent to hang it all. Right now, I have bags of towels and linens (I want washed since they have been stored, but I'm waiting until I have a dryer)  in the floor of the linen closet and I stack clean, folded towels and linens on top of that. It just goes against my organized ways ;-)

*My closet! It was hung up with all my clothes hung in ROYGBIV order (you know, color coordinated, like the rainbow!) and then on Tuesday night it collapsed!!! We had bought these big, sturdy U-HAUL boxes that have the metal racks in them for "closets" while we lived with my MIL. Thankfully, Brent said we would keep them since we spent quite a bit of $$ on them. So, they were outside in our building and I got those and put them in our office and that is officially my walk-in closet :-) It really isn't that big of a deal since I do have somewhere to put my clothes. I was just ready to organize the shelf in my closet, so that just postpones another project.

*Our bathroom door. It is still messed up even though Brent thought he was fixing it a few days ago. Now it won't shut completely. So, if Brent is home and sleeping or Webb is sleeping in my bed, at night when I'm in there drying my hair or whatnot, the light shines through to the bed and you can hear what's going on pretty good. Definitely something we can live with for awhile, I just felt bad one night when Brent was trying to sleep and I was in there late.

*I want my pictures hung. I am super OCD about crooked and strategically placed pictures, so I really want Brent there to help me. Plus, I have lots of things that need anchors and all. I want him there because he is just as OCD as I am (just not about what hangs! LOL. So, it can be a stressful environment when I'm like, "No... to the left.... No... go up... Now down just a hair. Wait... Maybe we should put this there instead of that." He is just ready to hang them anywhere and be donea! But, he will make sure it is done right). Tape measure, level, and anything else  that might assist.

*The laundry room door not being up. Brent was waiting until we moved in b/c the appliances wouldn't fit through with the door up and we are going to be putting in an exterior door that leads to the backporch in a few months (that is why we didn't change the size, if and when the appliances need out, we will use the exterior door, not the interior door). That room is so disorganized (because the door is laying in there taking up a huge amount of space and I have this huge drying rack in there drying clothes. I also have the shop vac and the fans in boxes that need to be hung taking up space). In the back pantry is all the paint I am leaving inside until all the touch up paint is complete. But, once I am done with that project, I can use that back pantry for bulk things (Costco buys) instead of my floor space! So, this room is stressful to me!

*Fridge water hooked up. We drink ONLY water and a lot of it too. I hate tap water, so I am buying tons of gallons of water. I am ready to not have to do that.

Other than that, projects that still need to be completed that aren't driving me as crazy:

*The living room fan needs to be put in our room. The boys fan broke and needs to come down and be replaced and the correct living room fan needs to be hung.

* I want a new kitchen light :-/ We bought one, but I have decided I don't like it!

*The rest of the outlets need to be changed in the kitchen where the backsplash is from beige to white.

*The boys bath needs the hardware.

*The boys bathroom needs a mirror. I don't want a standard one. I will be buying one of Kirklands or someplace like that.

*All of my curtains hung up (living room and kitchen finished).

*The kitchen window trimmed.

*All the boxes that are empty and filled up my entire backporch that need to be broken down and hauled off!

*Fixing the mantle and hiding all our electronic cords.

*Cleaning off out our home gym space and organizing that so it can be utilized.

*Boys closet organized.

*Dishwasher hooked up.

*DUMPSTER REMOVED!!! Happening in 1 week and some days. Thank the LORD!


I think that about sums it up. I am sure I left out some projects.... but oh well :-)

In other news, my vans transmission is going out. I felt it the first time the day we were moving. Now, it does it everyday, multiple times. Yesterday, I pulled out of Bible Study onto a main road. I was pressing the gas and all the sudden, my car was only revving but not going accelerating. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw 2 cars flying up behind me. I let off the gas and pressed again which had been working when my van did that. This time, it didn't work. I kept trying and trying. My RPMs were soaring and my MPH were down to 20. Finally, I was able to get my car to go. I thought that my transmission was completely gone. We were headed to Costco. I called Brent and told him what had happened. He is at work and is trying to help me over the phone. He told me I needed to park it and not drive it until we had the money to fix it. He said to definitely not drive it to Costco because chances are we would have a tow bill on top of having to replace the transmission. Being vehicleless is not even a possibility. I have a mom due any day and this is my week to clean. Plus, I am a mom and have errands to run daily. Brent being gone so much means he is no help transportation wise and us sharing a vehicle isn't realistic. He leaves the house around 6:30am and leaves the station at the same time only to go to another station most days. That would just be too hard with the boys.

So, my van is parked at my in-laws, my husband is driving my FIL's truck (it has no backseat) and I am driving my husband's truck. Fun stuff. Hopefully we can just get the transmission rebuilt which means I would have my van back much sooner! Pray that we can and we can find someone affordable to fix it.

When all of this was happening yesterday, I felt discouraged and on the verge of tears. Then, I looked in my rearview mirror and saw my angels. They are so sweet, so innocent, such gifts. If they were all I had in the entire world, I would still have more good in my life than bad. It's Christmas time and everything in life seems to be going smooth and wonderful other than a few minor (in the big picture, they are minor) things. I know the devil is out to rob me of my joy and to try and create havoc in our life and more importantly to get my focus off my Lord and Savior JESUS during Christmas. I REFUSE to let that happen. We have been blessed and all of this did not take God by surprise. I could cry out, "WHY WHY WHY???" But the real question is, "Why not?" Bad things/unfortunate things happen everyday to people. I am not immune or exempt from them. So, why not me? Why not now? Thank the Lord my transmission waited to fail until Brent had a job. Otherwise, I seriously would be vehicleless for who knows how long. At least now, we are in the position to save and have this repaired. God is good and His timing is perfect. Yes, we would love for that money to go someplace else (debt, house projects, etc), but it is what it is. Getting upset about it and having a pity party will not change one single thing except my outlook and I want my outlook to be joyful and optimistic. It really is a choice. Sometimes, it is a choice that takes work and truly forcing myself to not go there, other times, it is a choice that comes easier. 

Today, we are in Ringgold. I am a doula and I have a mom due any day. Last night, she had a false alarm (she is in Chattanooga). I am scheduled to clean in Ringgold tomorrow anyways, so I am just staying the night again. No big deal. I am actually enjoyed having nothing in the world to do. I slept late and I am still in my pajamas. Nothing is on the schedule today (except possibly a birth!) and it is relaxing and enjoyable.

I pray you all find peace and happiness today and time to relax! Pictures of the new house coming soon.

Dirty Windows and a Lap Dog

Saturday, my mom and dad were scheduled to come down and help at the house all day. My mom got this terrible sinus infection though (and had to work her new job on Sunday) and I told her just to stay home and rest. To take her place (and give my mom the peace of mind that it would be ok to stay home), my grandparents offered to come in her place along with my dad.

My grandparents are amazing people. You would NEVER be able to guess their age by watching them work. Let's just say, "They still got it".

The windows at Pappy's house (yes, we all still refer to it as Pappy's house. I am sure we always will) were so super nasty. You could barely see out of one window. I know that dirty windows will not keep us from moving in, but they will surely make this clean freak of a gal annoyed. My mom knew how dirty the windows were and she also knew how badly I wanted to clean them (they just are not exactly on the top of my list these days). She had originally told me she would clean windows or keep the boys when she came down. You must understand, these are not "normal" windows. Oh, no. They are storm windows that have not been cleaned since the house was built in 1987 (ok, that is a total guess on my part, perhaps they were cleaned in the 90's). From inside the house, you had to clean the top and bottom part of the window. Then, you had to lift it and take out the bottom of the storm window and clean both sides of it (there was mildew and black mud all over this). Once, the bottom part of the storm window was out, the screen needed to come out (it was so dusty you could barely see through it). Then, from inside, you pulled the top part of the storm window down and cleaned the inside part. You would go outside, clean the outside part of the storm window and the outside part of the actual window (while the storm window was down). You go back inside (unless you have a partner) and pull the top part of the storm window up, go back outside, and clean the outside, bottom part of the window. After that, all parts of the window should be cleaned. You go back inside, replace the screen, and the bottom part of the storm window and TA-DA!!!! You have a clean window!!! Talk about time consuming.

My dad, was of course, Mr. Babysitter. He wouldn't have it any other way and the kids wouldn't dream of him coming and NOT playing with them all day :-) He kept the kids out of our hair and ran some errands for us. It was amazing how much that helped out!

My grandmother asked what she and my grandfather could do and in all honesty, there weren't many options. I was almost done with the baseboards, we had doors to paint and were laying them across saw horses in the living room and we had to wait to get 2 coats on each door on each side before starting a new door)..... really, the only thing I could think of was windows. And no, it was not just because I wanted them done! LOL. They started on the first one and can I just say, they were so clean, I wondered why they had taken the entire window out?!?! Then, I realized! It was just super clean!!!!!!! The entire house is so much brighter. Honestly, I could have cried I loved my clean windows so much. I had complained to Brent (yes, I do complain ;-). LOL) a TON about the windows and he always told me they weren't that bad and could wait. Even he agreed when he saw the finished product, that yes, they absolutely did need to be cleaned.

First set of clean windows. I'm telling you--- A HUGE difference.

There is my grandmother (great-grandmother to 5, almost 6) cleaning windows like it is nothing.

The worst window-- picture does not do it justice.

After!!!!! I love how much brighter my living room is!!!!

Brent was working on doors while they were there. We Brent has run into an issue with out bathroom door. When he went to put on the knob, it wouldn't line up. He checked his measurements and the door he installed is completely level. The "foundation" or what was there when he started, the door frame, is completely NOT level.

See the light come through at the top?

That kept my hubby busy Saturday. It is still not fixed. He will have to rig something up for this door. It is causing him major stress ;-) He is a perfectionist, much like me.

Dad and the boys had a great time. Dad cut out pieces of this box and made them a new Hunting Club since Dane wanted the other one burned!

Yep, that is my dad and Webb inside!

Dad putting together this sleigh thing we got a Lowe's. I personally just loved his little sweater tied on his back. LOL!

On Saturday, Brent and I also plumbed the toilet. Oh yes, ladies, it was a blast! I encourage you all to start helping your hubbies plumb!

This is super duper FUN!!!!!!! I love messing around with toilets!!

My lovely view. I'm just glad this is a brand new toilet.

After church and our Thanksgiving meal with the new church family, we went back to the house to work. We knew we have a busy week of Thanksgiving and Brent is officially working. Even though we felt this way:

We knew the only way to finish this is to work on it.

Brent was able to hang up blinds along the front part of the house while I painted door, doors, and more doors!!! LOL. I love the look the blinds bring.

We got up Monday morning with the plan to work all day, that is until we were meeting my parents in Calhoun to pick up a surprise for the boys. At 7am, Brent got called in to work 24 hours. I really should have been happy, but my controlling/has to plan everything/we can't get off course self was upset. I almost cried. Then, I truly did realize I needed an attitude adjustment. This is GREAT news actually. Even greater news for our bank account right around Christmas. This is what we prayed for, what we trusted for, what others straight out of school are jealous for. I asked God to forgive me and then made sure my husband knew I wasn't mad at him, just disappointed because this gal is ready to live in her own house (not because living with the in-laws is hard, because it really isn't!).

The boys and I went over by ourselves on Monday and I painted DOORS again. This time, I got smart and I just lined them up in the living room and painted them. I was able to finish them all! YIPPEE!!!!

We told the boys we had a surprise for them and I left the house to head to Calhoun. By the way, the boys' guesses on what their surprise was??? Cake! LOL.

My parents had graciously met a girl for me (she was from Soddy Daisy, TN- about 40 minutes north of my parents), pick up the dog, and then meet me in Calhoun with the dog. I had found this dog on Craig's List on Sunday night. It was/is Brent's dream dog. She is a miniature pinscher/ Jack Russell. She was found ababandoned on the side of the road and this 16 yr old rescued her. Her mom told her she had to get rid of one dog (she already had 2) and if a home wasn't found, the dog had to go to the pound. She was everything we wanted and affordable!

I even took the boys with me to buy a leash, collar, food, treats, kennel, bed, etc. I let Dane pick out the collar (pink camo by the way) and still they had no idea. LOL!

The boys were totally shocked!! When they saw Gammi and Granddaddy, they thought that was their surprise.

Then, they saw that dog!

They were beyond exctied!!!

Brent named her Rose and I am ok with that, since it is 4 letters :-)

Kissing Rose

She is very skiddish and scared. I am hoping she warms up to my wild indians quickly.

She LOVES Brent.

And she loves laps :-)

When Brent isn't in the car, she jumps right in my lap for the ride. LOL.

She is a sweetie and we love her already.

Well, I need to get me and the boys ready. I have a full day of cleaning in Ringgold.

Hope you enjoyed the update! Maybe next time, I will be posting a move in date :-)

Confession of an Emotional Woman

Here we are.

We can officially see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Somehow, I think that makes things more stressful.

Originally, we were planning to be moved in the house shortly after the counter installation on the 19th. Well, the counter lady called and said they had not previously set up a time and needed to do so. My husband told her that yes, she had in fact already called and scheduled an appointment, but she was adamant that she had not. So, we are now scheduled to get counters in a week from original date, on the 26th. I was bummed when I heard that because everything has to be out of storage by the 24th (and then I remembered how the Lord never makes a mistake and there MUST be a reason for this.) . We are still aiming to have everything out by then, we will just still sleep at my in-law's house and then be able to go and work at the house (getting it all organized and whatnot) after that.

I have to admit, I have allowed this renovation to get to me. I often stop what I am doing and pray out loud, "Lord, thank you for a home. Thank you for the opportunity to even do this. Thank you for providing the way You see fit. Thank you that everything is falling into place in Your timing."

It is so easy to get caught up in it all.

First of all, we have not had an "off day" in almost 2-1/2 months. I'd say that attributes to a lot of the stress. Everyday, we wake up, I make breakfast, then I pack a lunch, and then I prep dinner. After working at the house 6-8 +/-  hours, I come home (nasty with unbelievably tired children) cook for us all, clean up for us all, do any laundry that needs to be done, herd the children to the bath, fight them to bed (because they are the ones suffering the most. On top of living with grandparents and having absolutely no schedule, they get no naps and on average, they are getting in the bed 2 hours past bedtime each night). While at the house working, you add a 4 year old and 2 year old who just want to play and be silly to the mix of parents who just want to work and be FINISHED and to not have to retrace steps because someone brushed by a freshly painted wall and smeared paint or someone stepped in paint and trotted it alllllllllllll through the house or someone needs their butt wiped. We are on edge. Ok.....

I am on edge.

I am grumpy.

I am mean.

I am hormonal.

I admit it all.

I had a break down Tuesday night around 7:30pm. In a perfect world (before we were living between 2 houses and on no schedule) we eat dinner at 5pm. I like an early meal, cleanup goes smoothly, we can play with the kids, bath time is not nearly as stressful and at bedtime, we have time for books and being a little bit silly. On this particular night, Brent was playing playstation (to unwind I suppose), Webb was crying, Dane had just fallen asleep on the couch, I was attempting a new recipe that WAS NOT working, and I was making a birthday cake for Brent. I woke up Dane because he had to eat and bathe and he started screaming crying. About that time, my soup spilled over. I literally sat in the floor and cried. I was so tired. I was so spent. I just wanted a day off. A night off. A teeny tiny bit of quiet for even 10 minutes.

We have this goal in mind for getting in the house. We don't want to pay on storage, we want some normalcy and schedules back for our children (and for us even!), the holidays are approaching and we want to be in our home doing our traditions, my husband is officially off of these orientation rides after the 21st. After that, it is game time. He will start working. Another part-timer at Bartow told Brent that last week he worked 125 hours. That will be great for us (to try and get back to where we were were and to catch up AND to buy Christmas presents) and Brent is total game for working lots and lots of hours (That is what a year of unemployment will do to you... especially combined with a passion for what you are doing). So, we know to expect him to be gone A LOT. That is the main reason we are working so fervently. We HAVE to keep going. We cannot stop. We have a goal in mind. If we don't meet that goal, who knows how long it will take because Brent will be unable to go.

Yesterday morning, Brent took Dane on a father/son outing. You can just tell when he needs that time.  Because of that, I decided to take the morning easy. Webb and I made cookies, played, read books. It was so great to be MOM again and to not feel an urgency to get to the house and to work nonstop. It was just what we all needed. We made it to the house after lunch and knew we wanted to stay till about 6pm-7pm.

I am impressed with everything we have gotten done.

After Brent hung all the baseboards, shoe molding, and doors, I went behind him and spackled the holes and then sanded them down.

See my excitement!?!

Then, I got to tape all the walls again for painting the baseboards again and painting the trim around the doors. This pic was taken before I taped all the floor too.

The doors were taken down and placed on saw horses (on top of cardboard boxes) in the living room. They each get 2 coats. The baseboards get one more coat (they were already painted before they got nailed up) and the trim around the doors get 2 coats.

Our bedroom is completed other than our bedroom door getting painted.

The office is complete other than the closet door and door getting painted. The hallway baseboards are painted. Today, I will paint all the doors I can, the boys baseboards (their door trim is finished) a hallway door and trim, the boys bathroom baseboards, and maybe move into the living room.

I thought about taking a day off since Brent is working 7am-7pm today, but I decided to just take it easy this morning with the kids and then head over around lunch. I will put no pressure on myself and what I get done, YAY me! And what I don't, Oh well. Every little bit will help though.

My parents are kind enough to offer to come tomorrow. Mom said they will bring a crock pot full of chili and will help anyway they can. Even if that means taking the kids away for the day.

That means so much to me! I feel horrible for my kids. That is another reason I want to finish. I want to go back to being mommy. Carefree, let's play and be silly all day, Mommy instead of this stressed, mean worker woman!

Next week is a crazy busy week of holidays and stretching ourselves thin all in the name of family ;-) We will work at the house every opportunity we can, Wednesday, Brent rides the ambulance 7-7 again and I go to Ringgold to clean 3 houses (I would generally clean on Friday of that week, but that is Black Friday and everyone asked me to come on Wednesday so the house would be clean for the holidays). I am not complaining about cleaning either. I would generally only clean 2 houses, but the I seriously prayed a prayer for a need (financially) and then got on FB and had someone else ask me to clean. I LOVE how God works! When I get back into town late Wednesday night, it's off to Brent's Nanny's for Thanksgiving. Thursday, I will help m MIL prepare Thanksgiving here and we will have it. Friday, it's back to Ringgold for Thanksgiving and Christmas with my grandparents (they celebrate Christmas in SC, so this way, the kids get their presents with them there). Saturday, it will be back to work.

As for me, I went to bed praying for forgiveness and asking for grace, yet again. I am thankful for an unchanging God who tells me to cast my cares on Him because HE cares for ME. I am also grateful that He doesn't give up on me and that He hears me when I call.

Can I ask you to please pray for me as well? The renovation/ holiday season is taking it's toll on me. I need the Lord's help, His patience, His kindness, His quick to listen and slow to speak demeanor, His gentle reminders that it will all get completed in time and to not let stress take away my joy? I am sincerely asking. I do not like this person I have allowed stress to make me!

Thank you and thank you for letting me ramble. I already feel better :-)

Baseboards and Doors

Today is Brent's first day on the job in Bartow County. He is so excited, it is cute! He works there today, the 16th and the 21st and he is still 2 weeks out from starting at Hamilton EMS. We are really, really aiming to be in the house by the weekend of Thanksgiving.

We finally received our last Lowe's shipment (except for the living room fan, the sink to the boys vanity, and something else) and the floors have been laid. Those were 2 things we were waiting on to move further in our work. We still have some plumbing work that has to be done before we can truly move in. Even if we are not spending the night at the house by the weekend of Thanksgiving, we want to have everything out of storage. We owe on it again on the 24th and our goal is to NOT pay that again. It costs a lot of money and right now, this renovation is taking every penny, not to mention it is time to begin Christmas shopping (something I am usually finished with at Thanksgiving and I haven't even begun this year!!).

Yesterday, with a new goal in mind and knowing Brent is starting work, we went over to the house and Brent hung all the doors.

He needed some help from time to time, but when he didn't, I was outside painting baseboards. I was thankful for a warm and beautiful day! The boards dried in no time and my hands were actually warm!

Our plan is to go tomorrow and Brent will put up all the baseboards white I paint all the doors he hung and the trim. That will be so not fun. I have to tape all around the trim and we special ordered the doors (we needed bronze hinges) and the trim did not come primed like the trim on the doors you don't special order. It will probably take 3-4 coats of paint. FUN. LOL. Before I paint the trim, Brent will have to remove the doors and I will put those on saw horses and paint those. They are, thankfully, primed! I'm thinking 1 coat, MAYBE 2 coats.

Once I finish that painting, Brent will have to caulk the baseboards and then we tape those and paint those AGAIN!

I will probably paint those alone so Brent can finish all the other projects-- hanging more light fixtures that arrived, getting the boys vanity installed, their toilet installed, and lots more.

We found out my counters get installed on the 19th. That was sort of determining when we could move in because my sink is attached to the counters (it is all one piece). We could maybe move in without counters, but no way without a kitchen sink. So, I am really excited to have those brought in. We will install our stove once the counters get laid.

 

I am really excited to have my double oven!!!

We also got a new stainless microwave and dishwasher. We opted to not get a fridge now. The fridge we like is $2,500 and that was NOT in the budget at this time. We were able to get a lot more necessities by opting out of something that was a want. Our fridge is black and will go with the stainless just fine until that is something we can afford/want to spend that much money on.

Webb was the only child we had yesterday while we worked. He was so good and such a wonderful helper for us.

Dane was with Granddaddy at the TN game in Knoxville. I got this picture from my dad. LOL.

If you know us, you know sugar and colors are a treat! I bet Dane was wild and very happy :-) I sure do miss him. He is still at my parents. They are bringing him back this morning and going to church with me. I am so exited to show off the church we have found to them. It is honestly the most amazing/alive church I have ever attended. Brent was bummed to be missing SS and church this morning and that says a lot! LOL. We had been invited to some sort of meeting (where we can ask questions/ learn about the church and everything that is offered) with the pastor today and it was originally scheduled to be after church, but it got changed to 10am last week though. I hate that I am missing SS. The lessons are so basic, yet so good. Brent and I discuss it during the week and we both look forward to being back the next week and catching the next part of it. I was going to cancel the meeting that is planned, but Brent wanted me to go ahead and go. I am so very thankful for this church home we have found. I look forward to learning more about it today, continuing to meet awesome people, and growing closer to the Lord. God is good!

Our front door and carport door arrive at Lowe's on the 19th as well. After they arrive, they call to schedule and installation date. So, we are working fervently to be in by the 24th knowing everything that we are waiting on should be there. We knocked out a lot of work yesterday so if we go and work that hard everyday Brent isn't at work, we should be able to do it. Pray for us!

I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday! Talk with you soon :-)