Thursday, July 7, 2011

Wish you could be a fly on our wall??

What possessed me to sign up for 2 classes in 5 weeks?? I don't know. Oh, and one of those is one of the most time consuming the school offers, as my advisor told me. I was told to expect to spend 6-7 hours a day on it. Well, go ahead and times that by 2 because with 2 kids- one 3 year old and one 10 month old- I can barely sit at the computer for 10 minutes straight. So, here is a recap of what it has been like at our house for the past 24 hours.

I finally got all my books I needed for class yesterday afternoon. I came home, got Webb down for a nap, and logged on. I quickly found out that cramming 10 weeks into 5 weeks is going to be, well.... interesting. I got a few assignments completed and then I realized that I needed to read 3 chapters because I was going to be tested on those. Ok, no big deal... right?! It's 100 pages and I've read that in an hour (or less) with one of my favorite novels. WRONG!!!!! I spent 7 hours, yes, SEVEN hours reading 100 pages. I had to attend to a child every10 minutes, wipe bottoms, change diapers, wipe snot, kiss boo boos, lay down for naps, rock, answer questions, play, read, get water, make a snack, and so much more. Needless to say, we did not make it to church last night. I took a break and had dinner with my boys, got Dane down, and propped Webb on my leg, boo boo in the mouth, and started again. I worked until my eyes started crossing at 10pm and then I called it a night.

I got up at 5am this morning. 30 minutes later than I had planned. I worked on it for 2 hours straight and then I cooked breakfast. After that, kids started waking up and I probably logged in anther hour or so before my weekly cleaning job. Naomi came and I left. Ran to the store to grab my essentials: creamer (I took a cooler to keep it in while I cleaned), straws for my coffee, and bananas. I went and cleaned a house for 2 hours, ran by the bank, and came home. Once home, I ate lunch, fed the boys, and started at it again. This time, it was a little more difficult to stay focused. I knew I had a test to take and I knew it was a timed one. In quarters, your tests are timed as well and you can assume by how much time you have been given will be the average amount of time it should take to complete it. In quarters, you have 60 mins, tops. I had one test that I could spend up to 90 mins on and other than that, they were all 60 mins or less. I logged onto my test to see how long it should take and I have 160 mins to take it. What??? Doesn't that break down into like, almost 3 hours???!!! No way. I ask my dad and sure enough. How in the world am I supposed to have 3 quiet hours to take a test??? I'm still not sure how I'm going to pull that one off. I decide to postpone it until a good idea comes my way. I work on some smaller assignments. I have a few little 10 minute tests to take. By a few I mean, 20. So, I decide to get started on those. I have Webb propped on my knee, nursing away and I am leaning down working on my answers. He keeps sitting up and trying to hit the keys, yelling, "DA!!!"-which means, "Dane!!", reaching for my pen, reaching for my book, wadding up my paper, and so forth. I am watching my minutes tick by as I search for answers and tend to him. I put him in the floor and Dane comes running through shrieking, "I NEED TO POOP". I continue to work on my test when Dane has a hissy fit. I can hear him screaming and yelling, "WHO LOCKED THE DOOR????" Crud. I think. That would be me so your brother doesn't eat the cat food, pour out their water, and splash in the toilet. I go running through the kitchen and open the door for him. I come back to the computer and Webb is playing with an outlet. I take him away from it and see that I have 45 sec left on my test. I quickly answer the questions that remain to the best of my ability and my grade of 40 pops up. Go me!!! LOL. I then hear Dane screaming, again, and I get up to go to him. Of course, Webb had made it to the bathroom and is going as hard as he can to get to Dane. Dane is screaming, "Get down, Webb. No Webb. MOOOOMMMY!!!!" I get Webb and move him back. Dane says, "I need you to wipe my butt hole". I said, "Your bum-hole". My correction goes un-noticed. I wipe him one time and he is freaking out again, "Don't get my goober, Webb!! Sit down". I see Webb pulling back up on the toilet and I also see Dane push him down with his foot. "Be nice to your brother", I say. Then, I take Webb and move him outside the bathroom. I go back to Dane for the 2nd wipe. I've barely got him wiped when I feel Webb between my legs and see his hand reach through for Dane. I grab his fingers just in time. That is not what I need right now. I move him outside the bathroom again. I go back for the 3rd wipe. Dane starts screaming as Webb crawls back in, "Mommmmmm! He's coming back. Get him. Get him. GEEEET HIIIM!" I say, "Quit screaming, please" and I reach down and move Webb back outside the bathroom again (I do not close the door because it would make Webb mad and he would most likely, pass out on me). I wipe Dane again, not sure if he is clean or not. This time, Webb moves at an incredible pace. I hear the cat bowls and I don't have time to get him before a big handful of cat food goes into his mouth. Dane is saying, "No, Webb! We don't eat cat food!" I move Webb again and come back for what I believe is the last wipe, at least, I think it is. I wipe Dane and before I can flush, Webb comes and gets one good splash in the toilet. Nice. Dane starts yelling at Webb again, "I am the Beater Man 3000 and I will get you for that." I clean up Webb, pick up the cat food and come back for some more school. It is then that I realize I still smell poop. I look in Webb's diaper and see why. I go to lay him down in the living room and he starts crying. He is ready for his nap, finally, and only wants one thing. I open his diaper to reveal something too nasty for description and start changing it. He tosses, he turns, he reaches, he kicks. He now has poop on his foot and his hand and he is part in the air, part on the floor and on his side from flailing around. I finally get him cleaned up and come back to the computer ready to nurse him to sleep.

Dane asks for a movie and I agree against my motherly instinct. It is way to nice outside for a movie. But, I have got to get some school done. Webb falls asleep and I lay him down. Score! He stays asleep!!! Now, onto my 3 hour test!!!!

Whew..... 5 weeks..... I CAN DO THIS!!!

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